Angela Phillips, Contributor

What happens when Brownie calls you and invites you to join her and her friends at another event, and you spend a fair amount of time on the phone together chit chatting? You still have not revealed Cake's existence!

Why does a man want his cake and someone else's brownie as well? Derrick did it to Meredith in Grey's Anatomy, and Ross did it to the photocopy girl in Friends, but they are just TV shows. Don't we deserve more than this in real life? In the last couple of weeks, I have been in a position of flirtation with a few men - nothing serious, by any means, but the initial 'mating' sparks were there. Well, it turns out some of them are married and the rest have serious girlfriends!

We go to a party because we anticipate a night of good times. We don't necessarily have any agenda of 'finding a soulmate' in mind, though some of us might. However, if we do meet a man who is chatty, good at dancing and even better, willing to dance, then this might spark some interest or intrigue. Now, I can understand that it is a little strange and uncomfortable to say to a woman off the bat, "Oh by the way, I'm married." It may come across as a little arrogant because you have just assumed that she is interested in you romantically and you feel you need to curb her feelings.

Now, she (let's call her the Brownie) is just cheesed off, and is thinking, "Who the hell does this man think he is? Dr. Love?" So you decide to say nothing and you simply enjoy the evening until it is time to go home to your wife (let's call her the Cake).

But what happens when Brownie calls you and invites you to join her and her friends at another event, and you spend a fair amount of time on the phone together chit chatting? You agree to join her, but you still have not mentioned that Cake exists, nor do you suggest that Cake joins you. Now Brownie is quite keen on you and she is thinking that there is a possibility you feel the same way. This might be fun! She starts to 'invest' (I use this term very loosely) in you and her potential desires she has for you. You still have not revealed Cake's existence!

I can give another scenario: You call Brownie and tell her that you love her attitude and her personality and you would really like to take her out for dinner. Well honey, there is just no misconception here. You have point blank told her that you are single and you are up for something to go on - helloooooooo! What are you thinking? Seriously, even if you have no intention of pursuing anything more than a friendship with Brownie, you have given her the impression that the court is open and you are ready to play. May I remind you my dear friend, the score will always be advantage YOU! Oh, but you like that, don't you?

So how does Brownie come back to break your service? A spectator must tell her how to play the game. At first, she is cool with this, but then she starts to think about it and becomes quite shocked. In fact, she is floored - mystified as to why you would hide this 'small' fact! This is Jamaica for Pete's sake! Brownie and Cake are both going to find out eventually and they will probably do so while taking tea together at a charity function, or some such delight!

Aside from the fact that you are wasting Brownie's time and energy, you are stealing her from a tray that has only been offered to the single men out there. Come on, they don't exactly have an easy time dating either. You're just being plain greedy!

Email angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com.