Dennie Quill, Contributor

Parents' Month is being celebrated just when the nation's attention has been seized by the phenomenon known as 'dutty wine'.

At the official launch of Parents' Month earlier this week, long-time educator Senator Noel Monteith summed it up by saying the family is in crisis. He cited the upsurge in violence, shifts in values and morals, rise in divorce and separation of spouses, and the increase in abuse of children as some of the indicators.

Yes, there is all that and more. There is dutty wine. Deadly, dutty wine. It recently claimed the life of a St. Catherine teenager. Medical experts have warned that this contortion of the neck and body is bad for the health, yet it continues. But this is a mere extension of the dancehall culture, which embraces all that is lewd and crass. The lack of moral value is evident in the music, the clothing and other paraphernalia, which are part of this emerging culture. Where are the parents of these winers? Are adults encouraging these teenagers in this dance of death? Has the church lost its influence in society?

Workshops

One must applaud the Ministry of Education and the Coalition for Better Parenting for staging this series of workshops. There will be nine sessions in St. Mary, Clarendon, St. Catherine, St. Elizabeth, Portland and Kingston. Parenting is a subject about which many people hold strong views. However, there is too little information on the subject.

Communication is a key factor in implementing change and these workshops should offer opportunities for exchange of views and ideas.

I hope participants will be motivated to see parenting not as a job but as a long-life relationship. I hope they will be given the resources and tools to intervene in the lives of their children and provide the necessary guidance. I hope they will understand that children also face challenges, especially when they become teenagers and the hormones start kicking in. I hope they learn how to deal with children's mood swings and behavioural changes. I hope they also learn that parents are role models for their children. I hope that the parents who most desperately need to learn new coping skills will be persuaded to attend these sessions.

Parenting is difficult. It is an awesome responsibility. A parent is a child's first and most important teacher so it is critical that potential parents and those raising children be armed with the requisite practical skills for the task. For instance, they need to understand how to instil discipline without alienating the child, and how to teach children to be responsible.

Experts have placed parents into four categories - authoritative, permissive, dysfunctional and democratic. My parents fell into the first category. A parent's word was the law. Even when an adult, if one was under the roof of a parent, there was no sidestepping the rules. Besides, the entire village was responsible for the children's development. A misstep here was punishable by any adult which could lead to additional punishment at home.

The norm

Nowadays things have changed. The dysfunctional is gradually becoming the norm. Parents in their high-pressure jobs have less time to relate to the children and they are often left in the care of minders and cable television. The children, too, are faced with great pressures, including high parental expectations and peer pressure. Children are also demanding greater democracy in their relationship with their parents. This leads to parents questioning their own methods: Am I too strict? Am I too indulgent?

The absence of fathers in many Jamaican households is another serious drawback. The father ought to share some of the responsibilities and should assume complementary responsibilities to those carried out by the mother. Fathers should not be mere sperm donors, they do have a serious responsibility. Mothers should not let them off so lightly, they should be taken to court and made to feel the full force of the law if they fail to shoulder their responsibilities.

If parents are armed with the skills, information and support system they will raise their children successfully so they can grow up to be great adults. Great adults will lead to a great nation.

Dennie Quill is a veteran journalist who may be reached at denniequill@hotmail.com.