Ivret Williams

Dear Counsellor:

I have been married for six months and ever since I got married I do not feel that I love my husband enough, I do not feel like having sex with him anymore and we do not seem to have anything to talk about; it's like we are two different people, I cry everyday hoping that I can go back to living my single life because we were much happier then, there is a baby on the way so I feel that I should stick it out for the sake of our unborn child. I am so unhappy it is like if we do not have sex there is nothing to talk about. No sex, no conversation. Please tell me what to do because I feel like walking away from the relationship and I know that, that would hurt him very much. But I do not know what else to do. Waiting on your reply -Samantha

Dear Samantha:

Many times people get married without getting to know each other. Before getting married individuals should become friends before they become lovers. Based on what you have said it obvious that you became lovers before you became friends. As such, you have nothing to talk about when you are not having sex. I would not advise you to walk away from your marriage. It becomes necessary for you to get to know each other because without that intimacy your relationship will not be able to make it. You are pregnant and this should be a happy time for you. Unfortunately it has become a sad time for you. This is not good for the unborn child. These negative emotions will be passed on to the child. Samantha all is not lost. Please see a counsellor and get some counselling and during these sessions use this opportunity to get to know your husband more.

My new man is very secretive

Dear Counsellor:

I met a young man nine months ago and we have had a sexual relationship. I like him a lot but my problem is that he is very secretive. I will ask him questions about himself and his family and he says that when the time is right he will tell me all that I know. But it has been nine months now and he still insists that when the time is right. I am getting frustrated because I barely know anything about him. How much longer should I wait for him to tell me what I need to hear? I need your advice.

Email Ivret Williams, a counselling psychologist at letstalkrelationships@yahoo.com.