Marigold Harding, Contributor

Tradition holds that at the beginning of a meal, diners should wait until the host puts the napkin on his/her lap then others follow. Nowadays, this applies on formal occasions, when you take your cue from the host. But, be it cloth or paper, your napkin goes on to your lap as soon as you are seated. On formal occasion the waiter usually assists.

The significant word is 'lap'.

Do not tuck a napkin into your collar, between the buttons of your shirt or blouse or in your belt.

Don't snap it open with a showing jerk of the wrist.

Use a napkin frequently to blot or pat, do not wipe you lips.

It is a good idea, ladies, to blot lips especially if you are wearing lipstick, before taking a drink to avoid lipstick stains on the rims of the glass.

Be careful not to stain a white napkin with bright coloured lipstick; discreetly blot with a tissue first.

Never use your napkin to wipe your face.

Put your napkin to the left side of your plate when the meal ends or whenever you excuse yourself from the table.

Do not leave napkin on the chair seat or hanging over the back.

Do not fold or crumble the napkin. Just leave it in loose folds that keep any soiled parts out of sight.

Never fail to place your napkin on your lap, and worse, never forget to use your napkin.

On a formal occasion, at the end of the meal, wait until your host places his/her napkin on the the table before you do so.

Monograms

Dinner napkins, if being monogrammed, are marked diagonally at one corner or centred. Paper napkins are the sensible choice for very casual parties, with large coloured ones being a favourite rather than white ones. If you have served yourself at the bar, take a napkin and wrap it around your glass. Keeps the glass in your left hand, leaving the right hand free for handshakes.

In an informal setting, the napkin is sometimes placed in a ring and is placed either to the left of the fork or in the middle of the dinner plate. Sometimes, a folded napkin is also placed under the fork; this makes the diner have to remove the fork before opening the napkins. This is the less preferred choice.