Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor,

I am 30 years old and would like to have a baby. I have been trying for two years now without success. I am now depressed, with sleepless nights and poor appetite. I think of my role in life as being a mother to my own children, and so I feel unfulfilled. I need help with this problem.

Elaine

Dear Elaine,

In Jamaican culture, pregnancy and children are very important to both males and females. Children are seen as a gift from God and, in some regards, old-age pension.

A woman might feel unfulfilled if she is not able to get pregnant and bring forth a child. Sometimes, people are unkind and call individuals names or criticise them bitterly.

I can empathise with your plight, as a woman may see childbearing as a major role in life. Your depression needs to be treated with cognitive therapy and, perhaps, medication. Infertility is a medical condition which needs to be evaluated and investigated. Females who are sexually active need to ensure that they are having sex in the middle of their menstrual cycle as this is the most fertile period.

Your doctor will ask you several questions, examine you and send you to take some tests. Your male partner needs to be evaluated as well. Some women want to be single parents but this is not ideal for children because they need both parents.

It is best if children are born into a legal relationship in a stable family. I know life is not perfect, but you need to anticipate problems. Boys will need male figures in their lives as role models and mentors. A single mother needs to make arrangements so that the lives of her children can be enriched by both parents.

Please see your doctor to have your depression and infertility treated. Nowadays, there is in-vitro fertilisation and women can get pregnant with the help of technology.

Overweight and unhappy

Dear Counsellor,

I am very obese and I am worried about it. I feel depressed now and I am unable to sleep well at nights. I fret about my weight and have tried a variety of exercises and diets.

Joan

Dear Joan,

Obesity and depression go hand in hand for some people. Feeding oneself is a basic skill and everyone indulges in this activity. We all fantasise about having various body types and metabolic rates.

People eat for no particular reason, while others just cannot resist food. Many people eat when they are anxious, worried, fearful or depressed. For some, food is their comfort, and fills a gap in their lives. There are comfort foods and nutritious foods on the market, so you see, our lives are intimately woven with food.

The treatment for obesity starts with an individual doing a spiritual self-evaluation. Spirituality is the essence of life, and we need to have a good relationship with our Supreme Being. Getting our spiritual self together will go a long way in helping towards losing the weight and fighting depression.

Also, to lose weight you need to be on a diet and exercise programme. It is best to seek the help of a dietician and a fitness expert to start your programme. Seek the help of a physician to rule out medical causes of obesity and depression.

Weight management needs to be seen as a long-term plan with relapses. You need to remain motivated and lose the weight gradually. You can comfort yourself with non-fattening foods that provide enough calories for your diet. It would be good to join a weight watchers' club to get support.

Email Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@hotmail.com or telephone 978-8602 or 791-1778.