Marigold Harding, Contributor

Marigold Harding - Contributed

At the highest end of the formality scale are dinners hosted by or for high-ranking public officials and diplomats. These events are governed by strict protocol and quite often guests are instructed on the rules by protocol officers.

The host should be present to meet and mingle during the traditional pre-dinner 'cocktail hour' which maybe shorter than an hour, but never longer.

If place cards are used, the host or hostess enters the dining room after all the guests. Or they may lead the way and indicate where guests are to sit.

Women sit as soon as they find their places and men stand until the hostess is seated or the host signals them to be seated. This is so if the hostess leads the way and takes her seat immediately. Otherwise, everyone stands at their places and waits for the hostess to be seated first followed by the female guests, then men last.

The guest of honour sits to the right of the host and hostess.

A charger or service plate (a large plate approximately 12" in diameter) is put on the table with the utensils and not removed until the main course is served.

No serving dishes or platters are placed on the table and meat is not carved at the table.

Plates are served from left of the diner and removed from the right. All plates are removed between courses as are the utensils used for that course, but only when all diners are finished with that course.

Wine is served from the right before each course and replenished as needed. The wine glasses at each place indicate the number of different wines to be served.

Coffee cups and saucers are usually not included in the original place setting.

Dessert forks and spoons may be set on the table with the original place setting.

The server may sweep between courses using a tightly-folded napkin to brush crumbs into a plate just below the edge of the table.

Coffee and tea may be served at the table or when the guests have retired to the living room.

Luncheons

Luncheon food is usually lighter than a dinner fare. Whether a lunch or buffet, the etiquette varies little from the basics of a dinner party. The main difference is that food and service is streamlined. During business hours lunch may last not more than an hour. It is therefore imperative for guests to be on time as service will begin as soon as guest arrive. Hosts have to be attentive to the time constraints of their guests, just as guests should not linger when the host has to return to his/her job.

Breakfasts

Breakfast can begin as early as 7:30 a.m. or as late as 10:00 a.m. and is a more elaborate version of everyday breakfast.

Brunch

The typical brunch begins around 11:00 a.m. and combines the virtues of a late breakfast and an early lunch designed more for leisurely weekend get-togethers and also may be associated with other social activities such as gatherings for out-of-town guests after a wedding.

Pot-luck Suppers

Pot-luck means that all guests share the food. In other words, everyone invited contributes to the food. Be very careful to organise so that the menu may be varied. To ensure a balanced spread, the organisers should know what participants are bringing and participants must be informed how many people will attend. Those who don't cook may bring a packaged item like paper plates, napkins, ice or pastries.

Wines at dinner

Only one person selects the wines to be served. A sparkling wine is often served first followed by a selection of whites and reds during dinner and a sweet dessert wine to finish. Never ask for wine that isn't being served.