Q: Doc, I have now been married for three years, and it is not going too well in bed. The problem is that my husband thinks I should be able to discharge during intercourse. But that just doesn't happen.
As a matter of fact, doctor, I know a lot more about sex than him. So I am aware that everything is going wrong because he does not give me any stimulation of the clitoris when we are having intercourse.
I have told him repeatedly that a woman needs this stimulation in order to make her discharge. He has reluctantly accepted what I said. So when we are having sex, he tries to put his hand 'down there,' in order to stimulate the clitoris and make me discharge.
Unfortunately, he complains that this is 'real uncomfortable' for him. He says that his hand 'gets squashed' between our bodies, and that this pains him. He says it gives him cramp or muscle contract in his fingers.
That kind of talk makes me real mad with him, doc! I can see that trying to 'jam' his hand in between us causes him a little discomfort. But surely my satisfaction should be the most important thing?
A: I am sorry to hear about this difficulty between you. Let me just begin by stating a few basic medical facts:
It is true that most women cannot discharge during actual intercourse unless they receive stimulation of the clitoris.
Unless you have an electric vibrator, the best way of giving this stimulation is by the guy's hand.
But it is also perfectly true that when a couple have sex in a 'face-to-face' position, the guy's hand can get crushed between the two of them. This can give him a very nasty feeling of 'muscle contract'.
However, there is a simple way around this problem. The couple can simply make love in other positions - so that the guy's hand can stimulate the lady's clitoris without getting crushed.
What other positions are we talking about? Well, an easy one is 'The Spoons position,' in which the woman lies on her side, and the man enters her from behind. He can then easily reach round and put his fingertips on her clitoris.
The so-called 'doggie' position has similar advantages. The lady kneels on the bed, and the guy kneels behind her and enters her from the rear. Again, his hand is free to find her clitoris, without being crushed!
There is also a well-known French position, in which the man lies on his back on the bed. The lady kneels astride him, and facing him. After he has entered her, he will find that he can actually see her clitoris - so it easy for him to stimulate it.
I hope that by using one of these positions you and your husband can get your relationship back 'on course.' I wish you both well.
Q: Doc, I would like to ask you a very important question for me. My man and I have been trying to conceive a baby for the last year or so. But no luck.
I am 24, and he is 27. We are both in good health. Neither of us has children by previous relationships.
Now doc, some of my girlfriends have told me the position in which a couple have sex can affect their chances of fertility. They said that in some positions it is almost impossible to get pregnant. But in others, it is apparently real easy. So I am asking you kindly, doc: In what position must we have sex in order to conceive a much-wanted child?
A: I am sorry you are having this trouble in conceiving the child that you so much desire. In a moment, I shall give you some specific medical advice about what to do next. But first, let me deal with this question of positions.
Your friends are not exactly right, but there is some truth in what they say. However, it is not true that 'in some positions it is almost impossible to get pregnant.' In fact, a woman can conceive in almost any sexual position.
However, it is true that some positions do slightly increase your chances of conception. For most women, the best chance of conceiving a baby is provided by making love while lying flat on the back, with a pillow under the buttocks. Also, it is a good idea to stay in that position for about 15 minutes afterwards - to encourage the formation of a 'pool' of sperms around the woman's cervix.
But if (like a lot of women) you have the type of womb that is called 'retroverted' or 'tipped' - which means that it points backwards - then the advice of top United States researchers is different. They say that retroverted ladies stand the best chance of conceiving if they have sex face down. Only a doctor or a specially-trained nurse can tell you if you are retroverted or not.
Now in fact, I think you should both be going to a doc now for a health check and fertility assessment. This is because of the fact that two fit young people really should have conceived after a whole year of trying. There may be some medical or gynaecological problem, and it is time to find out whether that is so. Good luck.
Q: Doc, I was recently diagnosed as having 'a bad chest infection'. I was astonished to be told that. What I cannot understand is this. Where did that 'chest infection' come from?
A: Chest infections are caused from germs. we are surrounded by millions of these little germs. When we breathe them in, some of them can cause chest infections, colds and coughs.
So really, it is astonishing that we do not catch more of these infections!
Q: Doc, is it OK to use a mobile phone in a storm? Or is it dangerous, as I have heard?
A: There have been one or two cases of people being hit down by lightning while using mobile phones in the open air. Infact, if you are ever in a thunderstorm, it is best not to touch anything metallic at all.
Q: When I was quite depressed last year, I told my doc that I had committed adultery. Now I am a little worried that this information might 'leak out'. Will he have written it in my medical notes?
A: Could be. He may have written it on paper, or perhaps typed it into a computer record. I think it is unlikely that anyone else could find out what you told him. But why not just ask him if he will delete your 'confession' altogether?
Q: Doc, why do I keep getting a terrible pain in my forehead, and a blocked feeling behind my nose? It is driving me crazy.
A: Sounds to me like you have sinusitis - which is an inflammation of the little air cavities located in the cheekbones and above the eyes. Of course, I have not examined you, and you need to see a doc to check out your sinus.
Q: I am 23 and male. I have a real bad pain in my leg. Could this be cancer, doc? I am scared.
A: Quit fretting. Cancer is very rare in men of 23 - with the exception of cancer of the testicle. And it would be most unusual for cancer to 'announce itself' with a pain in the leg.
In young males, many pains in the leg are muscular. I note from your letter that you are a sportsman, so get your leg checked out by whoever is responsible for looking after the health of the guys at your club.
Q: Doc, I am a guy of 16, and I am sure I am abnormal. I have not yet had sex. My male organ seems to be a lot bigger than those of the other guys at school. In fact, when I am excited, I measure around eight or nine inches. My great fear is that no woman will ever want me because of my size. I am sure I would hurt any girl who I tried to have sex with.
A: That is really most unlikely. In my entire medical career, I have never seen a guy who was 'too big' to make love to the lady of his choice.
I have certainly seen quite a few young men who thought they were 'too big for sex.' But in every case, they turned out to be wrong. So cheer up!
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