Angela Philipp, Contributor

What a loaded question that is! How important are the stereotypical desires of women? Do we really want or need a man to have it all - intelligence, money and social status, as well as being funny, good looking and tall? What happened to kindheartedness? You know the ability to show utter care for another individual, and to do so without expecting anything in return. Surely that is what women really want?

Western girls grow up listening to the fairytales of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White - each of whom marries a handsome prince - and then as we come into our teens, 20s, 30s, we watch modern-day fantasies such as Princess Diaries, Pretty Woman and all the James Bond movies.

Propaganda

Now don't get me wrong, I love these stories and films, but they are all propaganda! They are pushing us to think that if men are not well-to-do and gorgeous, then they are not worth pursuing or giving the time of day. Indeed, physical attraction is vital, but only to a certain extent.

Take an extreme example - top notch man, with physical features and a bank account which anyone would kill for. Only hitch is that you discover that he is mean to kids. So, do you like him now? Not so appealing anymore is he? The best looking and most intellectual male on the planet can turn into a dumb, ugly ogre in an instant, especially if he shows no compassion.

I cannot tell you how many women have said to me, "Honey, you need to marry a rich man who is tall, dark and handsome. And whatever you may think, money matters." But I have to say that I repeatedly refute this. Money is not what women really want. We are just conditioned to believe that it will make us happy because it facilitates our material needs. But you know something? We can damn well work for our own money.

This is not something we should be looking for in a man. In fact, you'll find that most women who marry for money are utterly miserable. Their husbands are often either workaholics, or are off gallivanting on their own. Either way, you will be receiving no love, attention or support from your spouse. And is that what you really want?

Instinctively

I asked a woman I met recently why she had married her husband of two years. Do you know what she said? "It was the first time I had a met a man who I instinctively wanted to share life with. It's just easier to do life with him than without him." No mention of how his looks are, what his financial status is, or any of the aforementioned in this article. She simply wants someone to be there for her, and this man certainly is. I spent four days with this couple, and they have returned my faith in true love.

Ladies, we need to throw away those lists we've been making since we were small!

HA! Don't pretend that you don't have a list - my girlfriends and I used to make them all the time. How wrong we were. I think mine went something like this: MUST be over six feet tall, dark hair, good tan, muscular, more intelligent than me, witty - gosh I'm sure there was more. One thing I don't remember ever thinking was essential for a man to have, and that was money. Perhaps that was romantically naive of me. However, what about the other superficial requirements on my list? Why was I so blinded by all that rubbish? I must have been influenced by books, movies, my peers, etc. Not anymore baby! Too much has happened to me recently - experiences that have given me a little more perspective on life, and I am telling you from the bottom of my heart that the only thing this woman really wants in a man is basic human kindness.

Email: angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com.