Wendel Abel

What makes you happy?

Having money and going out with friends.

-Raquel Richards, age 22

Being healthy makes me happy. Happiness is independence and having lots of money.

-Natalie, age 70, retired

Having the best of health makes me happy. Happiness is enjoying life to the fullest.

- Errol Lawson, age 50, businessman

Having good health makes me happy.

- Carol Jones, age 48, accountant

I think that ultimate happiness could only come from having Christ in one's life.

- Lorna Franklyn, age 46, clerical officer

Happiness is being comfortable because you have all you need.

- Andrew Dunn, age 21, businessman

Happiness is having a stable family life, a good job and owning your own home.

- Trevor, age 61, businessman

Vox pop conducted by Joseph Cunningham, Gleaner writer.

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is that the only place they ever needed to search was within (Ramona Anderson).

Many people never find happiness, even after a lifetime of searching. I remember many years ago after a hurricane that devastated Jamaica, I visited a lady - old, blind and her roof was leaking. I asked her if she was happy. She paused, pursed her lips and replied, 'I am very happy.'

What's the moral of that story? Happiness is an inner state that occurs when we find meaning and fulfilment in life. Many persons have not found happiness because they have allowed themselves to be overcome by negative thoughts, negative emotions and negative attitudes.

Release negative emotions

Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy and hatred are some of the negative emotions we harbour. They are like an abscess, they fester and poison. Are you harbouring any negative emotions? Identify them and release them. You may need to forgive and release in order to put closure to whatever may be keeping you trapped. You may need professional help to allow yourself to heal today.

Reframe negative thinking

Many of us never see the positive in any situation. We always focus on the negatives. We look at the clouds and all we can see are the dark clouds, never the silver lining. Start working on those negative thoughts which keep our minds in a rigid frame. Stop the catastrophic thinking which sees disaster in every situation. Stop jumping to hasty conclusions because of one bad experience. Avoid magnifying the bad things in life.

Avoid negative persons

A friend of mine once told me, 'I am a builder and I avoid going where termites are'. Some persons are like termites; they eat at everything and they generate only negative vibrations. If you are going to build and grow you have to avoid them and in the process try to influence them to start thinking in a positive manner.

Accept yourself

The inner self determines the quality of your life. Many of us have never truly accepted ourselves for one reason or the other. We are ashamed of our past, we become hard on ourselves because of past mistakes and we are ashamed of our present circumstance. True happiness arises when we find, understand, love and accept ourselves. Stop looking for happiness outside of yourself.

Share, care and love

The unhappy, rich man sat clutching his gold and asked himself why others were so happy despite their poverty and lack. It is in sharing, caring and loving that we receive true happiness. Today, start giving of your time, talent and treasure. Experience the difference this makes in your life. The holidays give us great opportunity to give and share. Remember those who have made a contribution to our lives, persons we have worked with, someone less fortunate or a forgotten relative. Do something extra special for them this Christmas.

The need to actualise

All humans have a need to actualise, to achieve their true and fullest potential. This will result in greater meaning and purpose in your life. Ask yourself, 'what is it I have always wanted to do? ' Whatever it is, you have a right to be and to realise your dreams. Start thinking about it now. Make it your resolution for the New Year. Until you realise your dreams, you will never be truly happy.

Do some soul searching today: "Look within, within is the fountain of all good" - Aurelius.

Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com