Dear Counsellor,

I have been reading your articles and have found that you have a balanced informative approach to the issues that are being discussed. I am a senior citizen and I am enjoying my retirement.

I lead a very busy life by occupying myself with my church and community activities. I am a member of some groups in my church and we visit the sick and shut-ins. We carry care packages and pray for the needy. I am a part of a prayer group and help out at a day care centre.

I would like to tell the retirees that they can live fulfilling lives and contribute to the development of the country.

- Maria

Dear Maria,

As the saying goes, 'work is never done'. I view retirement as a change in our routine. There is work a aplenty for everyone. The elderly have a variety of techniques and tips to share with youth. I agree with you that the elderly can assist the little children in their development.

The Jamaican society has a rich oral tradition and storytelling should be encouraged. The old can pass on the rich heritage to the young. Many things in life are a working of old issues and the senior citizen can share their experience and skills learned with the younger ones. The senior citizens will feel appreciated and useful while the youths will get information which can help in decision-making.

The young dream of how they want their life to be, and the elderly speak of the life they have lived. It is good to be involved in community activities as they will enrich your life. There are lots of needs going unfulfilled and we need the services of individuals who are experienced and trained.

Volunteering is an important activity as it keeps us involved and informed. As you grow older, you realise that old friends die and are replaced by younger friends. We need to be involved so that we can communicate with our young friends. In life we share ideas, dreams and thoughts.

Visiting the sick and shut-in is commendable and should be encouraged. Whenever someone is sick, everyone gathers around in the immediate period, but the person is usually forgotten if he or she develops a chronic illness. I know some churches have outreach programmes and we all can visit the ill and shut-ins.

Dear Counsellor,

I have a teenage daughter who is oppositional and defiant. She is rebelling against my rules and direction. She wants to go to parties, hang out with friends and does little schoolwork. I brought her up using Christian principles, but it is as if she wants to devise her own rules.

- Annette

Dear Annette,

Adolescence is a time of rapid growth and development. During this stage of life, humans adopt the attitude and behaviour of adults. Development is a process, and since childhood, the individual has been taught to think for him/herself and help in decision-making and problem-solving. As young adults, adolescents want and need more decision-making power and authority.

Adolescents are immature, however, and need guidance and direction. Some adolescents take unnecessary risks and are thrill seekers and daredevils. Adolescents must learn to obey rules and follow orders.

We find that some adolescents are oppositional and defiant. Some are testing the limits, rebellious and disruptive. Others require counselling and guidance to see the error of their ways and to conform to social norms.

Adolescents need help in setting career goals and organising themselves. Planning and organisation are key functions for any individual, and we all need help at whatever age.

Adolescents need help in decision-making and problem-solving. Parenting is not easy at this time as the adolescents test our limits of endurance and we as parents need to allow them space to mature and develop.

Parents should have patience, tolerance and perseverance to cope with the life changes that are occurring in the parent-child relationship. Having a relationship with God will help both the adolescents and the parents.

Adolescents usually want to set their own rules and guidelines and, therefore, need help in setting appropriate limits of behaviour. You can view the situation as one of seniority.

The senior, being more experienced and knowledgeable, needs to guide the junior member of the team. We all need to have a healthy respect for authority and to instil this in others.

Adolescents need their peers to help them to develop. The influence of peers can be both bad and good. As parents, we are regulators of our children's behaviours.