Angela Philipps, Contributor

Is it possible for a man and woman to have a platonic relationship without either party ever having feelings or desires for the other? Or is there at some point, even for a brief instance, an attraction, a thought or a need for something more than a friendship? I grew up in a house full of boys and went to coeducational schools, so I certainly thought that men and women really could just be friends.

However, I distinctly remember an impromptu reunion dinner a couple years after leaving high school, when a male friend of mine dropped what seemed like a bombshell on me. He told me that my best friend from school, who was a guy, had always been madly in love with me. I was bowled over - amazed - almost upset about it actually. I said something like, "That's not true. There's no way. It is feasible for men and women to be just friends, you know."

Well, he cackled like a hyena. He thought it was the funniest thing on earth that I could be so naïve as to think that my male friends did not fancy me. He insisted that all of them would have, at some point in time, wanted a little 'piece' of the action! Frankly, I was appalled at the thought, but over the years I have come to the conclusion that perhaps he was right … maybe there is always a dynamic there which goes a little beyond just camaraderie. Or is there?

Two minds

At present, I am of two minds, and these interchange daily! I am extremely close to my girlfriends. They are like sisters to me, but I hang out with a lot of my male mates because they tend to go out more than the gals. I would like to believe that none of them ever look at me in any other way than being just one of the guys since they behave like typical boys when I am around them.

But come to think of it, with each one of them there has been a hint of flirtation somewhere along the line, even though nothing ever developed. Ignoring it for me is easy, and it's not until now, when I sit here to write this, that I realise that it might well be true.

I've never had any interest in these guys, but there were insinuations and comments made by all of them. I even look at my female friends who have a lot of male friends. I know for a fact that most of the guys, who they think are just friends, would have been up for a bit of 'rumpy-pumpy' if given half a chance. These women have no idea, though, and to be honest, things are best left that way.

I am not suggesting that men and women can't be friends. They most certainly can be. All I am saying is that there might be a time within that companionship when one person would like something more, even if the other one does not.

It doesn't mean that anything has to be done about it, nor does it have to be a long-lasting feeling. But it is undeniably there for at least a fleeting moment. Even I have to admit that I have been to that place. I do believe, however, that it is perfectly possible to curb one's desires when needed.

I call it 'intellectualising a situation' - seeing that it makes no logical sense to want to be with someone when he or she does not want to be with you. Doing that indeed makes me see that men and women can just be friends.

- angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com