Dear Counsellor:

Christmas is one of the times of the year that I get depressed. I lost my father several years ago and I miss him at Christmas time. We usually spend Christmas Day together as a happy family. These days, when we gather, we miss his company. Each year, I dread the Christmas time because I am reminded of my father.

- Veronica

Dear Veronica:

Season's greetings to you. Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth, and we all should try to be happy. The death of a loved one is painful and difficult. The memories are ever present and sometimes become overwhelming, causing us to mourn.

During Christmas time, family members gather and this is when relatives who have died are remembered and missed. The death of family members and friends is one of the unavoidable trials of life. We remember our loved ones with fond memories and love. The grief and loneliness that death bring to a family have to be counteracted with fellowship and support. Many people try to deny their feelings and consciously block the memories. This is a coping mechanism that prevents the individual from being overwhelmed by the painful memories.

There are several times throughout the years that the memories will return and you may get depressed. Usually, it's a feeling of sadness that doesn't linger and we are soon all right again. It's good to discuss your feelings with someone to help you to cope. Remember that episodes of sadness are to be expected and these episodes don't usually last a long time. Remembering your loved ones is a positive way of cherishing your precious memories of them.

Dear Counsellor:

My 10-year-old son is having difficulty with his reading. He is struggling, and because of this he is very unhappy and doesn't think much of himself. What can you do to help?

- Maria

Dear Maria:

Reading problems are common issues facing some of Jamaica's children. This challenge is not unique to Jamaica, as it is a worldwide problem. Children develop reading problems because of several reasons. Some children have a learning disability while others have mental retardation or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Some children are developmentally slow and learn to read at a later date than others. It is best to see a child specialist to be evaluated and to determine the cause of the reading problem.

Reading is a skill that is learnt, and brings the child great joy. It is really a pleasure to see a child reading by himself. What you can do is read stories to him or her. You can use the Bible or buy cheap books in the bookstores. There are famous books that are sold cheaply and are well worth the time and energy. When you read to your child, he will learn words, phrases and sentence structures. He will learn the sounds of letters and how to pronounce the words and letters.

Practice is the key to fluent reading. Let your child practise reading to you. Use a book with many pictures and few words. Let him explain what he sees in the pictures and make up stories from them. Depending on his reading ability, you can start with beginner books and gradually move upwards. Some books come with an audio tape to add life and colour to the story.

To build confidence, he or she needs to read the same story often and sometimes be able to recite it to you. Repetition builds confidence, and when he can tell the story, he will feel proud of himself and joy will be with him. Storytelling is important and useful, and is to be encouraged. Story writing is also essential and you should encourage him to put his thoughts on paper.

The answer to reading fluently is to practise, practise, practise. When the child learns the letters of the alphabet, the letter sounds and pronunciations, he will be on his way.

Authors of children's books write according to their age and developmental stage. Books with pictures are very important, especially for first-time readers and will teach the child several skills if used wisely. So for Christmas, go to the bookshop and buy some books for your child to read. All the best.