Angela Philipps, Contributor

Technically, the answer might well be yes. And if I am a spinster, is that a bad thing?

The definition of a spinster in the Collins English Dictionary is, '1. An unmarried woman regarded as being beyond the age of marriage. 2. Law (in legal documents) a woman who has never married.'

Compared to the meaning in the Oxford Reference Dictionary, which is, 'an unmarried woman; an (elderly) woman thought unlikely to marry.'

Ok, so legally I am a spinster. What about the connotation of being too old and, therefore, not likely to get hitched? Do I still fall into this classification, as a 30-something-year-old?

early expectations

When I was a teenager, I felt for sure that I would be walking down the aisle in my early 20s and have a few kids by the time I hit 30. My grandparents and parents wed very young, so I figured the pattern would follow through into my generation. This was not to be, and although my early expectations have not been fulfilled, I do not feel that I am 'on the shelf' ... yet!

However, I know of many women with the same years, who are concerned that they have not met anyone special and that they might not do so within the time frame of their biological clock. Sound familiar?

The other day, a friend of mine asked me why it is that some of our close girlfriends are married and we are not. "What's wrong with us?" she asked me. I told her, "Not a thing." Maybe it's just because when we were in our 20s our lives were focused on our jobs and partying, rather than finding 'the one'. Perhaps we were not in the right frame of mind and they were. Or, possibly, the men we were with were not ready! Well, that's the excuse Meg Ryan's boyfriend used in When Harry Met Sally. Until he got married to someone else, and she cried to Billy Crystal, "It's not that he didn't want to get married. He just didn't want to marry me!" Depressing thought ... and, in fact, that is exactly what has happened to me ... only I am relieved!

I, personally, don't think any of us are ever too old to tie the knot, though we might be too young! There is so much on offer to us 'spinsters' in the world today ... choices women did not have in the past - equal pay and opportunities to flourish in business, which allow us to afford our own mortgages, cars, bills and holidays.

social freedom

We can now financially survive without a man, and with that comes a social freedom which gives us the ability to go out and do things on our own. I am not at all saying married women do not have this ... they most certainly do. It's just now that more of us ladies choose to be on our own, the negative insinuation of being a spinster is superfluous.

Since I moved back to Jamaica, a few of my 'smug married' friends have tried to set me up with single men because they feel sorry for me being on my own. Now, I am all for meeting new guys through people I know, and going out with them on dates. In fact, there are few I would not agree to go out with at least once. But my intentions are quite different from those of these matchmakers. I want to look back at my life knowing that I lived life to the fullest. It's not important for me to look at my left hand and see a shining rock, it's important for me to know that if I am a spinster, then it makes me the shining rock!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com