Feeling nervous about re-entering the dating scene after years of attachment? Researchers note that developing your self-confidence and knowing what you want before you begin will vastly improve your chances of mastering the game.

The first thing to do is to make an inventory of what you have to offer.

"Get your act together," notes one dating site.

You should try to begin looking your best by joining a gym, running in the mornings or evenings, and starting to eat right. Get your hair cut or styled and start to care for your skin. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look.

Confident

Changing the most basic aspects of your looks will instantly make you feel more confident, researchers note.

In addition to preparing your physical appearance, you are also expected to prepare your mind. Make a list of all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be honest, researchers note. Do not blind yourself to bad habits which you need to change. Think about which things you think people may not like about you. Ask to your best friend.

At this point, you should obey that famous saying - get a life. Start doing the things you wish you had always had the courage to do, such as a hobby or sport.

Now that you can no longer be listed as the most boring person on the planet and you are looking good, determine exactly what you are looking for. What kind of person with what kind of values will enhance your happiness?

Do you see yourself married within two years?

If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid-back and don't take dating too seriously, then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. Is it purely sex that you want?

Get Involved

Where in your neighbourhood are you likely to meet people? You should join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners - the kind of partners you are looking for.

Be sociable - become sociable and look every opportunity. Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way.

Do not frustrate yourself by targeting men or women who are out of your league. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

Be Patient

Never make yourself too available. Researchers advise that you should not sleep with your dates early. If you do, the emotions you want to cultivate will not have time to develop.

Be selective about what kind of person you really like and want to keep around you. Keep positive and honest people who make you feel good about yourself.

Remember to check your confidence levels at all times.

It is advised that you should walk away from anything you don't like and keep a positive attitude.

OUTLOOK MAGAZINE | SUNDAY, january 14, 2007