Laurie-Ann Jackson, Contributor

Former South African Deputy President Jacob Zuma. -REUTERS

I have always resented the reference to Africa as the 'dark continent', particularly the pun on the word 'dark'.

'Darkness' across the world seems to represent mystery, the absence of light and knowledge, magic, demonic spirits, superstition (with all the 'scary' things that go along with it), death and most importantly, its contrast - white.

I used to be very caught up with fighting these connotations in whatever forms they manifested themselves, whether it was the ignorance in my all-white high school U.S. history class, or in my political science senior seminar on culture and political stability in college. I fought, while living in Madrid in the house of the wife of a white high-ranking official who had served in General Franco's army. I was constantly defending my 'darkness'.

Three years ago, I came to see this 'dark' place for myself. It was an exciting time. It was the celebration of 10 years of democracy, the survival of arguably the most liberal constitution in the world and the general upliftment of millions of people out of one of the most socially, economically and psychologically oppressive regimes in the history of mankind. Talk of the 'Rainbow Nation' in which black, white and coloured people were reconciling and working towards a "brighter and better South Africa every day" overwhelmed the media, politics, the Church, school - it was everywhere. That year, the African National Congress (ANC) was voted into power yet again and there was hope.

Two and a half years later, things are not quite as bright. Since being here, former Deputy President of the country, Jacob Zuma, has been acquitted of rape charges of an HIV-positive young woman. One of the more disturbing facts of the case is that the former Deputy President, who once headed the National AIDS Council, was aware that she had HIV and publicly announced that he took the "precaution" of showering after his encounter with her. He was acquitted of rape on the grounds that they had had previous consensual sexual encounters and that it is a Zulu custom for a man not to be denied sexual access to a woman if she is dressed in a particular way - one of those bright sarong things we use as skirts - the girl wore one of those that night with nothing under it.

unprotected sex

I don't know which is more troubling, the idea that previous consent is always consent; or that the Deputy President of the country knowingly has unprotected sex with an HIV-infected girl; or that he openly claims to have taken a shower as a means of protecting himself against HIV; OR, that being dressed a certain way warrants being raped. Added to this is the attitude of the minister of health who continues to espouse her beet root/vegetable concoction as treatment for HIV/AIDS. The Ministry of Health has maintained that nutrition is its primary focus, not HIV/AIDS. The ministry's 'Love Life' campaign targets youth with the message that it is fine to have sex as young as eight - as long as they use a condom and, that living with HIV is much like living with diabetes - you just need to eat right and take your medication.

As the vast majority of people across the country are uneducated and poor, HIV/AIDS is one of their lesser concerns. A national poll showed that the majority of South Africans are more worried about food, jobs and housing than they are about being infected with HIV. Also very disturbing is the new trend of the sale of HIV-infected blood on the black market. WHY? Because the government now gives disability grants to HIV-infected persons. Able-bodied young people are buying the infected blood to infect themselves and other family members as a desperate means of accessing government grants. People are choosing to succumb to HIV/AIDS rather than living, working or going to school. For many, the choice is hard. Do we eat today or die of AIDS at some point down the road? As one young guy on national TV explained: we will all die one day." With AIDS being equated with diabetes, one can understand why it isn't a scary thing to have.

There has also been a lot of quasi-political activity involving former ministers of government under the apartheid era, including the continued refusal to divulge information about what happened to the current President's son who disappeared into thin air 25 years ago. One such previous minister, as an act of apology for his role under the oppressive regime, washed the feet of a well-known Anglican bishop but then appeared on national television to say that now that he is a Christian, he sleeps very well at night (in his lovely home provided for by government) but that he does not feel bad about any of the acts of torture, killing, or policies of social control that he aided in developing and enforcing.

He has not apologised nor has he given any useful information about aspects of the apartheid regime that the current government is still trying to unravel. People are just supposed to forgive him and forget about the past because he is now a Christian.

The 'father of apartheid', P.W. Botha, (the sick man most responsible for the development of the regime during its most oppressive period) died in November 2006 and even on his death bed, he was unapologetic about the deaths he ordered and particularly his role in the continued detainment of political activists such as Nelson Mandela. I sat in shock as I heard this man on national television deny, lie and belittle the millions of black people who lived through hell under his command. It was sickening but very true of the racial climate in the country, particularly in Cape Town. Here in Cape Town, the line between civility and tolerance is eroded in seconds by one wrong glance, the car you drive, your accent, the clothes you wear - it really is just anything. There is cross-racial tension, intra-racial tension, class tension and rampant xenophobia.

severe deprivation

Black South Africans have a strong sense of entitlement because of the severe deprivation they endured under apartheid. As the majority are still largely uneducated, poor, living in townships and deprived of basic necessities, they do not have access to the corporate world or a means of earning a living. Blacks who have escaped deprivation are targeted just as much as white people are, particularly foreigners.

We foreigners, or kwere kwere, are persecuted particularly here in Cape Town and in the Eastern Cape. Two family members of a black male friend died last year at the hands of angry black South Africans. They were successful, Ghanaian men who owned their own business and so were resented by the black South Africans in the town. One was shot and the other was brutally stabbed to death. The Somalis in Cape Town face a similar plight. The trend now is to slash their faces or burn them alive in their homes or shops. It is a dark, frightening trend. We foreigners are targeted because we "have come to take what is rightfully theirs so we must die, or go back home."

This sentiment was also reverberated on a TV programme that investigated the escalating death rate of Somalis in Cape Town. I thought I knew after living in the U.S. what it was like to live constantly proving or defending myself and my blackness. But this, this is on a totally different level. I don't speak in crowded places. I don't take public transportation at all let alone speak in a bus/taxi for fear of my foreign accent being heard. I don't go into town alone and I am always aware of my body and where I am. At night, if I'm on the street alone, I run.

Late November last year, the Civil Union Bill was signed into law. This act makes South Africa the first African country and the fifth country in the world to legally recognise gay marriage. Born out of the constitutional right to equality and the right to not be discriminated against based on gender, race or sexual orientation, the act now affords homosexual couples the same rights as those of hetero- sexual couples. There was a frantic race to be the first gay couple married and it was won by two black men in Johannesburg. Gay marriage has taken over the news, music, the soap operas and the media. It is now the new big/hip thing here and we are being inundated with messages of equality, love, and homosexuality.

'non-discriminatory' stance

The Church is in an odd position. Because of the country's past and how seriously the constitution is taken here, it has been forced to take a 'non-discriminatory' stance where homosexuality is concerned. In my church, when they attempted to rally people to attend the march protesting the bill, there was a lot of "we don't hate gay people; we don't discriminate, we encourage gay people to attend our church, we love gay people; we just believe that this isn't how God intended us to live; so we are marching as a declaration of that - just a declaration, not a protest."

That is as much as I heard from the Church here regarding this issue. They have been weakened and forced to preach the gospel in a constitutionally-friendly manner. So even we, who are supposed to be beacons of light and salt of the earth, can't really be these things and so the darkness continues to spread.

This 'Rainbow Nation' isn't as bright as it would like to think. And, as much as I struggle with Africa and its nations being referred to as 'dark', there really isn't any other way to describe the political, social and religious atmosphere in this nation. The streets are clean; the economy is one of the strongest in Africa; there are no police or army patrols; the malls are filled with everything imaginable; food is cheap; the highways are large and perfect; yet, there is so much death, hatred and darkness everywhere.

Laurie-Ann Jackson, is pursuing post-graduate studies at the University of Cape Town, Faculty of Law.