Peter Espeut

There has been a call for the age of consent for girls to be raised from 16 to 18. Having a legal age of consent removes from young women below a certain age the freedom to choose whether to have sex or not; there is no such provision for young men, yet I do not hear the feminists complaining about gender discrimination.

If a young girl below the age she is allowed to consent agrees to have sex with a young man - should this young girl 'wine up' and tempt him and seduce him - she has committed no crime, but the young boy is now liable to be convicted in a court of law and sent to jail. Something is wrong here. But the issue is not really about consent; it is about maturity and self-control, for boys and girls, for adults and young people.

The struggle for maturity is a struggle for self-control. We humans are members of the animal kingdom, with many of the animal instincts of lower beings. Built into our make-up are chemicals which trigger a range of 'cravings' in our heads and our bodies which we call 'appetites', and we have appetites for food and drink and sex and all sorts of other nice things. The too-fleeting feelings of 'pleasure' we obtain while we perform our bodily functions are also chemically induced.

Essence of immaturity

The essence of immaturity is to live life satisfying every craving that arises to obtain the pleasure, and our modern culture promotes this. Popular songs advise us: "If it feels good do it!" "Do it 'till you're satisfied". "Don't stop 'till you get enough". The message is clear: give-in to your appetites, whatever you feel to do, whatever feels good, do it! Immediate personal gratification!

Common sense tells us that this cannot be a guiding philosophy that builds up society or person. If the pineapple pastry that I happen to crave is on someone else's plate, I can't just take it. If the sexy woman that has just appeared on the beach is accompanied by a hunky man, I will have to control myself if I wish to maintain my bodily integrity. The process by which we come to maturity involves being conscious of these chemically-induced cravings and learning to deal with them, to resist them, to control them.

Infants quickly learn that they have voices and legs, and bodily functions that get rid of waste matter, and parents and teachers will need to spend many months and years training children not to shout in front of the staffroom, not to run along the corridors, and not to urinate into the school garden. Children have to be taught that they cannot have the nice ripe Julie mango on their neighbour's tree without asking, or a taste of their grandfather's white rum until they are older. Teaching restraint and self-control is an essential part of the education of children, so that in later life, they will live lives of restraint, respecting the rights of others.

We are not always successful in teaching restraint and self-control to the young because often adults do not have it themselves. Drunkenness and obesity show lack of restraint with food and drink; theft is lack of restraint in wanting to possess things; rape and carnal abuse is lack of restraint with respect to our sexual appetites. One of my brother deacons puts it well: "Not every time you itch you mus' scratch". Soldiers on parade have to learn that self-control and discipline are the same thing.

Difference

The main difference between humans and other animals is that we can think; we can stand back and reflect on ourselves, on the feelings we feel, on our bodies and our minds. It is in using our brains and our minds that makes us really human - real men and women - really mature, not in doing what dogs and donkeys do. There is much in our culture that is immature. I suppose where poor education is the norm, animal abilities will be lionised before more intellectual pursuits.

And so rather than debate about the age of consent, I ask: When is the age of maturity?