Lady Saw at her birthday celebration, July, last year, with her partner, Lloyd 'John John' James. - Contributed

Howard Campbell, Gleaner Writer

For more than a decade, Lady Saw has shocked hardcore dancehall fans and conservatives with her raunchy songs and X-rated live shows. But a painful experience five months ago sent the deejay into a period of soul-searching.

The chatty Saw, known for risqu songs such as Stab Out The Meat and Life Without Dick, shows a more sober side on No Less a Woman, which she wrote and recorded shortly after her second miscarriage.

The song is taken from Saw's new album, which will be released in April by VP Records. She told The Sunday Gleaner, recently, that the last five months have been tough for her and her partner of 13 years.

"I was down and depressed in my little apartment in Queens (New York City) and I started humming and then the words start filling in,' Saw, 37, said.

"It's my story about my miscarriage and my sadness," she added, "but I also wrote it for the negative people in Jamaica who love to curse women who don't have any kids."

Comments

Saw (given name, Marion Hall) said male and female acts have commented on her alleged infertility. In the past, she has responded in song, but regrets making those records.

"It just brought mi down to their level," she said.

The bawdy toaster said she lost her first child at eight weeks two years ago. Her second miscarriage, last summer, came after two weeks.

Although she has three adopted children, Saw believes nurturing a child from the womb is different. Despite the trauma of two miscarriages, she still hopes to bear a child.

"Sometimes yuh see a school let over an' yuh sey 'Oh God, so many kids an' not one belong to me'," she said. "Looking at my adopted kids an' seeing dem grow I feel proud, but yuh would love to have dat experience as a woman an' carry the child to (full) term."

It has also been tough for her long-time partner, producer, Lloyd 'John John' James.

"He took it harderthan me. He has kids from before we met, but he wanted it so bad," she said.

For many years, women in Jamaica have been ridiculed when they are unable to conceive or go through a full pregnancy. They are usually referred to as mules.

Bitter rivalries are not strange to the dancehall and Saw has had her share of spats. She admitted that the 'mule' tag has hurt.

Dr. Errol Daley, a gynaecologist, said it is a 'horrible feeling' when a woman is unable to have children.

"It's usually tougher for women who conceive but don't carry to term. They go through the same passage of anger, grief, disbelief, recovery and acceptance," said Dr. Daley. "Whether it's a miscarriage or stillborn, they go through life feeling they are less than a woman."

Singer in the church

The fifth of eight children, Marion Hall had plenty of 'company' growing up in Galina, St. Mary. She remembers her first musical 'performances' as a singer in church.

She sought a career in secular music after hearing deejay Papa Toyan's song Spar Wid Me, a homage to disc jockey Barry 'Barry G' Gordon.

After a few false starts as a singer, Saw broke through as a deejay with the not-fit-for-airplay Stab Out The Meat for producer Garfield 'Sampalue' Phillips. Other suggestive songs and live performances followed, making the leggy Saw one of dancehall's most outrageous acts.

Ironically, Lady Saw's more conservative work has been her most profitable, such as the country ballad, Give Me a Reason and Find a Good Man. Her toast on pop group No Doubt's 2002 song, Underneath It All, helped make it a Top 10 hit in the United States.

Saw is scheduled to head off on a promotional tour of the U.S. and Europe next month, but is also hoping to land slots on top-rated North American talk shows like 'Oprah' and 'Tyra' to discuss the difficulties of child-bearing.

She is not keen, however, to do the same here.

"I'm not looking at Jamaica right now, because we tend to put down each other," she said. "To tell the truth, we are illiterate when it comes to those things."