Heather Little-White, Ph.D., Contributor

Regardless of how you view yourself - as prudish or promiscuous, whether you are old or young, you must have had some fantasies about sex at one time or another. Sexual fantasies are generally sexual practices in which you would not normally engage, and may even include unnatural or illegal acts.

Sexual fantasies have been given a bad rap despite their role in sexual therapy. For years, sexual fantasies have been associated with symptoms of emotional, sexual and psychological disturbances illness. However, sex research has recognised sexual fantasies as positive forms of erotic expression. Sexual fantasies add excitement to sex which can easily become mechanical, sterile and boring.

Functions

There are many functions of sexual fantasies. These include:

Bringing about orgasms.

Letting out sexual feelings for pleasure and release pent-up sexual pressures and tensions in a private and safe way.

Having several sex partners of all types without being personally accountable. In a study of college students in the United States, 30 per cent of men admitted that they had engaged in a lifetime of erotic fantasising and had sexual encounters with over a thousand persons.

Allowing exploration of the body's erogenous zones and sexual unusual activities, such as masturbation.

Defusing fears to troubleshoot and preview sexual problems that may arise in future real encounters.

Releasing fears or your curiosity about certain unusual sexual encounters like homosexual liaisons, having sex with animals or being held in bondage during sex. Fantasising about certain sexual practices does not mean that you would actually want to do it, even if you could.

Erogenous zone

The mind, the body's most fertile erogenous zone, plays the vital role in sexual fantasies. It has been discovered that sexually dysfunctional men and women rarely have erotic fantasies during foreplay, sexual intercourse or masturbation. Some persons have no interest in sexual fantasies because they suffer from a condition known as hypoactive desire disorder (lack of interest in sex). These people may feel repulsive about sexual fantasies because of their own guilt or embarrassment about them. Sex therapists may help these self-censored persons to discover their erotic potential in their minds by teaching them how to fantasise. Some women, who have never had an orgasm, are able to do so after allowing themselves to indulge in their erotic fantasies during sex.

In many instances, sexual fantasies take on an almost real life experience considered as 'steamy' to the extent that they can hardly be considered a fantasy. Sex researchers at Rutgers University have shown that one per cent of women can indulge in so-real fantasies to bring themselves to orgasm alone.

Out of control

At times, sexual fantasies can get out of control. Research at the Masters and Johnson's Institute showed that two-thirds of men who engage in far-out sexual fantasies say they would try their fantasies if given the chance. Persons may be so compelled to act out strange fantasies or become so obsessed with them to the extent that their flesh and blood partner becomes unimportant. This obsession can turn to a paraphilia (perversion) and the person eventually engages in deviant behaviour, such as rape or sexual abuse, just to live out the passion.

Male sex hormones which trigger the libido in men are responsible for the fact that men fantasise far more than women. Men's fantasies are dominated byvisual images rooted in male-oriented pornography, especially genital images and are more likely to involve multiple, often anonymous partners. Men may move quickly to live out the sexual acts with a real person. On the other hand, women's fantasies tend to be more personal, of the female-oriented romance novel type, often focusing on someone they actually know and may emphasise more non-genital touching, caressing and emotion.

Shared experience

Partners are often concerned about sharing their sexual fantasies with each other. In some cases when it is done, it lacks the spark that is expected, especially if the setting is not right or your partner is not fully sold on it. Some jealous partner may insist on knowing who was the object of your fantasy, and could lead to problems. You have to know what your partner can tolerate. Sex therapists suggest that both partners should commit to trying out a fantasy together and see what effect it has on their sexual relations.

Unless you try sexual fantasising, you will not be able to tell the effects the activity will have on your sex life. It may be really worthwhile to try.