Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

I have a problem relating to other people. I don?t have much to say and I tend to listen than to speak. I have few friends because of this. I would like to improve my communication skills so that I can have more friends and acquaintances.

Angeline

Dear Angeline:

Communication is essential in our everyday activities. Some people are shy and others do not like to speak about personal issues. Friends and acquaintances are important to our social well-being.

There are many opportunities to meet people at work, church and in our communities. We have neighbours whom we see everyday. We tend to be afraid of talking to others because we feel that these individuals are not interested in us. Have you ever seen how small children greet each other? We have to be brave and courageous and step out in faith, believing that all will go well.

In starting a conversation, you can speak about current events or the weather. These topics are non-threatening and there are no personal disclosures.

It is advantageous to read the newspaper, listen to the radio or watch the television to gather information on current events and activities. One has to make the effort to speak up in a conversation. Listening is good and quite essential, but we need to be responsive in a dialogue. No individual wants to feel that he is speaking to himself because the other individual is not responding.

Practice becomes perfect

Some people were born with the gift of speech, but others have to train themselves to discuss issues with others. I know it can be painful to speak up, but practise speaking about neutral topics and it will become easier.

Our church brethren can make good companions as we can talk about religion and our faith. We can discuss various issues and pray for each other. As you relate to others, you will find that you can speak of selective personal issues. Confiding in people is a skill that we need as we all need help in sorting out our lives on a daily basis. Personal disclosures have to be tactfully done and we need to first speak about issues that are not destructive and will not cause others to ignore us. Be aware of the fact that not everyone can deal with certain hot issues.

Relationships are important to all of us and we should be kind, tolerant and caring towards each other.

Preparing for high school

Dear Counsellor:

My son is preparing to enter high school in September 2007. He is small-built and I wonder if he will be able to cope.

Janet

Dear Janet:

Entering high school is a transition for students. Many children find it challenging to cope with the new way of doing things. There are many subjects with as many teachers and a lot of homework. Preparation for high school is essential, as your son will need to get familiar with the idea of high school.

He will not know which high school he will attend until June. However, you can talk with him about high school and what goes on there. You can drive past the schools that you have chosen to see what they look like. Talking about high school will reduce the anxiety and worry.

You will need to provide strong support during the first three years, especially the first year. You will need to help him to organise himself so that he can complete his assignments on time and study his academics.

Seek information

It is advisable to speak with children who are already in high school to get a feel for the varied experiences. These students can give tips on how to cope. Find a teacher from a high school and talk with him or her about the challenges that new students face. Getting information is important because you will want to make an informed decision.

High school can be exciting as well as challenging. Your son will be entering adolescence and have those issues to deal with also. Encourage your son to speak with you about issues so that you can provide guidance to him. Help your son to set goals and solve problems as this will help him in the transition period. Talk positively about high school and drive home the fact that the issues are manageable, that others have gone to high school and have been successful.

■ Contact Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or 791-1778, or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.