Beverely East, Contributor

Stress is linked to depression and over eating. Model Lisa, courtesy of Miguel Models International.- Winston Sill/Freelance Photographer

Did you know that the word 'stressed' is 'desserts' spelt backwards? So every time you are feeling stressed, remember two things - Stress can often be the sweet taste of success, and secondly you are often being showered with blessings all at once; so really you are "Too blessed to be stressed".

The stress factor can kills us, especially us women, because we want to be all things to all people, carers of the world and not ever to ourselves. But realise that when you are kinder and more caring to yourself it is not selfishness but self love, and with that overdose of self love we can give so much more to so many other people.

My dear sister friend, Jewel Diamond Taylor, coined the phrase "Too blessed to be stressed", and since the day those words slipped out of her mouth the world has claimed it as theirs. What I have learnt over the years is that there are several ways to de-stress ourselves and that is by the choices we make.

Stress is often self-imposed, whether we want to believe it or not, and we allow it to take over our life every crisis just gets piled up on top of the next one.

Sometimes if we are not in the middle of other people's 'suss' we don't believe we can survive. Many of us have created much of our own stress in our lives that we no longer know how to control it, or live without it.

Taking control, we have to learn to say stop - enough is enough when other people are trying to run us ragged, sitting on our last nerve and causing us to live on the verge of a heartache or a nervous breakdown. I put teenagers on the top of the list as main culprits, with relationships and sickness, yours and others, close at the top.

My father always asked my mother, "Have you ever seen work in a coffin yet?" Of course she always ignored him. Because if she weren't involved in a million things at once causing chaos around all of us, then life wasn't worth living for her.

First rule of thumb is: We have to learn to say 'no' sometimes and that is painful and often not easy. So, we must learn to say 'no' but the trick is, 'no with no guilt'. Because if you are going to feel guilty every time you say no, then the energy of that guilt is so consuming that you may aswell place the energy into the act itself. Serve up 'no with no guilt' please.

Learn to delegate

Others can help you and do the job just as good as you can - but we all have this need to believe that without us the job cannot be done. Get over yourself. When caring for a family member or friend, who is ailing, remember to take care of yourself as well. Worrying about them is understandable, but worries burn and sap energy, and don't change your situation one iota. This is when you call a family meeting and delegate responsibilities. Sometimes stress can be bittersweet. When we are caring for a family member who is sick, or when there is a family crisis, remember that this too shall pass.

Manage your time better

Seize the time you have as a precious gem. If only you had more time, more hours in the day, but then you know that you would only create more things to do. So seize the time, and respect and manage your time differently because when you do others will follow your lead.

TO-DO LIST

Don't make your 'to-do lists' so long because when you feel overwhelmed you break out in a sweat or you freeze in fear and procrastinate. Set goals and prioritise what really is important for that day only. There are some things that can wait, believe it or not, until tomorrow. Start each day by getting rid of the things you hate to do first. They will hang over your head as a cloud all day if you don't.

If you have an overwhelming task, break it down into small components and don't be afraid to ask for (What did I say earlier?) HELP or advice if you have no clue as to what to do.

Be practical

Stuck in traffic? play music, or a tape that can teach you something, soothe your nerves, motivate you or comfort you. Waiting in long lines? Take something to read or something that you can do while you are waiting; the frustration of the wait will not seem so long.

TAKE A WALK

When you feel like you are up against the wall, move away from the situation totally. Take a deep breath, take a walk around the office, outof the building into another space and know that all will be well because you are really too blessed to be stressed. Breathe out the sweetness of life.

When you are feeling overwhelmed have you ever thought about what the reverse of your life could be? The phone never ringing, no work at all, nowhere to live, no family members to take care of?

There are people around the world searching for their families with no clue where to even begin to look for them. There are millions of people whose stomachs are buffed with empty air, skins parched from the sun with not even a teaspoon of water to drink. There are women being circumcised against their will, sold as child brides, raped, murdered, you get my drift.

There are thousands of women living is abject poverty, controlled by governments and religions that hold their mind and their soul hostage. So when you are feeling overwhelmed wondering how you may pay your light bill, remember you have light, you have water, you have freedom, you have friends, you have family. Treasure and honour each stress. The stresses that can come to us are often bittersweet, but very short lived. Learn how to control it, manage it, because life is full of sweet desserts.

I welcome your emails at writefully_yours@hotmail.com