Paul Messam, Contributor

It is incredible to see the disgusting things that people do in public - things that should be done in private or not at all. For example, biting the nails, winding ringlets around fingers, squeezing bumps or spots, picking nose and teeth.

"Civilised people should know that you do not yawn in public, that you turn away to sneeze or cough, that noses are blown in private, that spitting in any form is not allowed, no matter how much you want to," says Princess Beris Kanaouroff, in her book The art of living - Etiquette for the permissive age.

Then there is slurping.

Slurping, according to the Oxford Dictionary, means to 'eat or drink noisily'. "It is very annoying and simply bad manners," says Sophia D.M. "I had a roommate at teachers' college who seemed to find it a pleasure to slurp whenever she eats or drinks," said Erica Brown, now a teacher in a high school. "Whether morning, noon or night, there is something which Marcia has to slurp." According to Ms. Brown, the slurping sound is both annoying and disgusting.

"Slurping is distracting to the other eaters at the table and those within hearing distance," says Angelita Banton, reading specialist and one who has done courses in modern etiquette. "It suggests that the eater is unaware of, or does not have a clue about etiquette in today's modern world," she adds.

Good table manners

According to Ms Brown, good table manners means making eating pleasant for all. "To make others see what you have in your mouth is offensive, and to make noise with your mouth or tongue is equally repulsive."

Ms. Banton advises that after taking a spoonful or two, you may pick up the cup if the soup is cool enough. Also, use both hands if the cup has two handles, or continue to use your spoon if you prefer. So there is absolutely no need to slurp.

"When you slurp, you are taking in air in the vessels of your skin," says Dr. C. James Adams, associate professor of psychology, John Jay College. "Air bubbles are not good for your body." Dr. Adams says we need to consciously manage ourselves much better, in terms of how we eat and relax. "There needs to be self-discipline in how we eat and breathe around our table."

It is interesting to note that many middle-aged and older Japanese feel that the long noodles actually taste better if slurped along with the broth, and while still hot. They consider loud slurping to be normal and a way to show that one really enjoys the meal. But a newer generation of Japanese has a different point of view regarding noodle etiquette. The Japan Times reports: "Younger Japanese are more concerned not to dribble the soup on to their silk ties and designer dresses. Reared on western manners and a more western diet, they are likely to be offended when those around them slurp."

This slurping issue has become part of Japan's generation gap, causing some older ones to be self-conscious about breaking the silence when eating noodles in public.

To slurp or not to slurp, that is the question.