Klao Bell-Lewis, Contributor

Stilt walkers dressed as cricketers were among the colourful group that participated in the entertainment package for the ICC Cricket World Cup opening ceremony at the Trelawny Multi-purpose Stadium on March 11. - Photo by Adrian Frater

Very few Caribbean persons would confess now. But, I will be brave, step out of the closet on behalf of all 'cricket ignoramuses', and admit that we really feel lost and excluded during this season.

It's not that I haven't tried to understand the game. Several years ago, I attended a one-day match where my then fianc? patiently explained everything that was happening on the field. (He's now my husband and we haven't spoken about cricket since). I even had the privilege of an explanation of the psychosocial and historical significance of the game from a noted sociologist.

But, I still haven't got it. And it's not because I'm a woman. In fact, you can blame JBC (Jamaica Broadcasting Corporation) for my lack of knowledge. Let me explain.

No cartoons

Back in the days, when there was only one television station, regular programming was interrupted to bring live coverage of the match of the day. To me, the little girl with ribbons, that meant no cartoons or Sesame Street. It also meant my grandfather and uncles expected me to be quiet around the house. When I looked at the TV screen, I only saw a vast field dotted by men in white outfits. And when I asked the one question that mesmerised me, no one could explain why the players wore white only to dirty them by diving on the ground and rubbing the ball on their trousers.

So there it is. The separation from the game was formed early, along with resentment about being separated from my regular viewing. Also, the separation within the family - picture grandfather planted right in front of the TV, uncles with radios 'kotched' by their ears, while the women went about their business - meant the game had nothing to do with me.

As an adult, I tried to take responsibility for my ignorance, as I said. I went to a match, was intrigued by the Stanford 20/20 held recently and at one time knew how to identify the silly mid-on position. But alas, I've found it more sustainable to bluff my way through than to retain the explanations of all the rules and terms of the game. (one more time, why is LBW a bad thing?)

I have developed a model that has served me well. First off, don't try to join a proper cricket conversation. just while passing by a group of viewers, mumble "What's the score?" or "Who's batting?" or "How much runs they gone?"

Nod and smile

I also learnt, depending on the company you're in, to nod and smile and feign interest. So when my boss, all hyped from the West Indies' recent win, commented on howDwayne Bravo did a good job of shielding Corey Collymore because Collymore is a rabbit, I loudly agreed with him: "is true boss, him is a real rabbit yes."

Fun and feigning aside though, I really do enjoy the energy the game generates. When it's cricket time, and all the radios and televisions are tuned to the same stations, geniality and lively banter dominate. I'm always fascinated by the way cricket authorises perfect strangers to speak familiarly to each other. The beauty too is that there's no fear of offending the other person by expressing a preference as we are all on the same side - whether we are rallying round or disparaging the West Indies.

I will continue to keep my head low until this season is over and I won't begrudge those in the know. Instead, I will - and I urge all ignoramuses to do the same - take advantage of all the fun that surrounds the game. Check out the craft villages and the concerts. And, use the opportunity to meet some new people - there are lots of visitors floating around the place.

Survival tips for 'cricket ignoramuses'

Avoid situations where you are likely to be asked the score.

If you must be in a room where a game is on, just make noise when everybody else does. But be careful to ascertain first whether the noise is one of approval or disappointment.

Identify the person who seems to know the most about the game and agree with everything they say, especially if that person is your boss.

Remember the key questions: "What's the score?" or "Who's batting now?" or "How much runs they gone?"

If an obscure team is playing, support them, especially if it's Ireland . (Don't mess with the Irish, we've all seen what Digicel has done to Cable and Wireless Jamaica).

Commit to ensuring your children learn the game, don't perpetuate your folly.

Soak up all the good entertainment surrounding the game.

Promise yourself you'll learn a thing or two by the time the World Cup returns to the Caribbean.