Daviot Kelly

I've always tried to steer clear of 'politricks' for two reasons. Firstly, I'm not even close to being an expert on the topic (no topic really but especially that one). And secondly, most of the columnists today invariably mention the topic almost daily.

But, I have to say, honestly, I hope the general and local government elections are called soon. Not because I have any great desire to see the democratic process take place, or to see if the Electoral Commission, has done a fine job: or to see if the incumbent remains or the opposition takes over. Nope, none of that! I just want the thing to be over and done with! The sooner the campaign songs are played out, the sooner the flag waving freaks' arms get tired and the sooner those who can't even walk are carried to the polling stations, the better.

For me, a general election is like taking really bad-tasting cough medicine. I know I have to endure it but I don't want to. So the sooner I digest the foul-tasting brew, the sooner I can move on. I am looking forward to the local government elections with the same enthusiasm as a series of documentaries on microscopic fungus. Oh the excitement!

Voting

As you probably would have guessed, I have no intention of voting so Prof. Errol Miller will not see my name on his (constantly) refreshed voters' list anytime soon. I've never seen the need to vote for the Poor Nah Prosper (PNP) or Jamaican Lunacy Personified (JLP). As for the Not Doing Much (NDM), I won't even comment.

The main reason I can't bear elections is that regardless of who wins, they are going to achieve the same thing. Say it with me now, loud and clear - NOTHING! The promises have started long before the year flipped to '07 and the bickering in Parliament has got louder and more raucous. The gibes on radio talk shows and the political meetings are providing more laughs than a Benny Hill marathon.

So consider this a plea to Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller. Please call the elections as quickly as possible. Just get it over with so we can all get on with our lives. I know the World Cup has to finish first but right after that would be great. Whether everybody is in place or not. Whether all the plans have been fine-tuned or not. It nuh matter. Just fly di gate so we can all go back to sleep. Later.

Feedback: daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com