Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor:

I am afraid of sending my children to school because of the incidence of violence. What can parents do to deal with this situation?

- Martha

Dear Martha:

Violence among students is very challenging to the authorities and the parents. Parents send their children to school and do not know what to expect for the day. It is nerve-wracking to hear the daily news of stabbings and shootings.

Violence among students has to be tackled in a multimodal fashion. Immediately, we have to declare a zero tolerance policy on weapons in schools and install metal detectors. Students found with weapons are to be charged by the police. It would mean that juvenile facilities have to be upgraded to deal with the volume.

Schools will need to become training grounds in the evenings. Parenting classes for students and parents need to be instituted in the evenings. We also need to teach parents, teachers and students about the effects of stress and how to implement effective stress management programmes. Teaching parenting in school is a good idea as we need to teach people the effective and nurturing elements of parenting.

You, as a parent, should teach yourson or daughter effective conflict-resolution, problem-solving and risk-management skills. Since the students are aggressive and violence-prone, you need to teach avoidance and escape tactics. It is best to live to fight another day.

Another issue to be tackled is substance abuse. Students pattern each other as well as the behaviour of misguided adults. If you, as a parent, are smoking or drinking alcohol, then your children will most likely do the same. We are role models for our children and they copy our behaviour.

Many children who are getting aggressive are the non-readers and poor performers in the school system. We need to assess the students' academic and cognitive skills.

Many teachers know the ones who are the non-readers and troublemakers. We need to devise and implement educational and behaviour intervention programmes to deal with these problematic students. Many of them need to be on medication for aggression and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

As a parent, you should see that your children do their homework and read their textbooks. It is unfortunate, but many students are failing in high school, even though they got 80s and 90s at the GSAT level. High school is not like elementary school, and as they say, only the fittest survive.

Communicate

Parents are called to give account of themselves because their behaviours are helping to perpetuate crime and violence. Parents need to dialogue with teachers and principals about the progress of their children. We need every parent to be involved in the education of his/her children. Education is not only about academics, but also about hygiene, sexuality, behaviour and relationships.

We need to involve the Church in the training of students at the Sunday school level when the children are young and eager to learn positive things.

Church, school and parents need to work together to stimulate improved behaviour among students. It means that church members, teachers and parents have to receive training in behaviour management,empathy and relationship building as well as mentoring.

Students need to be taught non- lethal means of self-defence. Many students carry weapons as a means of self-defence, but as you know, things turn lethal quite quickly and people die.

As parents, you need to teach your children self-defence methods that will keep them alive and out of trouble. This is a good time for the martial arts to flourish in the school environment.

Contact Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602,791-1778, or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.