JUNE: Odette, how're things with you and Marty?

ODETTE: We're fine. Doing very well, as a matter of fact.

CELIA: So I guess the police don't catch up with you two yet, huh?

JUNE: Don't say that, Celia.

CELIA: Why not, it's the truth.

ODETTE: Celia's right, but sometimes, it just takes a bit of thinking to put things in perspective and then you can deal with anything.

CELIA: I need me some of that (expletive deleted) perspective you talking about because I can't get a (expletive deleted) thing in order.

JUNE: Celia! Must you talk that way?

CELIA: Must you always shout my name? I swear you could host a game show or something.

ODETTE: Here's Marlene.

CELIA: Late as usual. Girl, when are you ever going to be on time?

MARLENE: Probably when I'm dead.

CELIA: I don't think so. My psychic eye tells me you'll keep the undertakers waiting just the same.

ODETTE: Pity your psychic eye didn't tell you Bruce was sleeping with the neighbour.

CELIA: Don't go there, Odette. You know better than to bring up that (expletive deleted) in here.

MARLENE: How's the custody working out?

CELIA: Like hell.

JUNE: Tell us again why you're fighting for that dog when you don't even like dogs?

CELIA: That not the point. Bruce loves that old mutt and for all I tolerated with the little bitch, I'm gonna make him suffer. Anyway, I can take better care of that dog that he can. It don't matter that I don't like it.

MARLENE: I wouldn't have the energy.

CELIA: You never have energy. It's a

wonder you found enough to get pregnant. Or did John do all the work?

JUNE: Celia!

CELIA: All right child. Why you be calling out my name in here?

ODETTE: You hiding or something, Celia?

CELIA: NoÉbut you know, a girl's gotta be cautious.

ODETTE: About what?

CELIA: All right, all right, if you must know. Remember that bitch Bruce was sleeping with?

MARLENE: Which one, the dog or the neighbour?

JUNE: Marlene!

ODETTE: Touch.

CELIA: Who said Bruce slept with the dog? You're about to make me lose my lunch and find something else to sue his ass for.

MARLENE: I was just joshing. Tell us.

CELIA: Yes, the neighbour. Well I sort of called the police on her.

JUNE: You did what?

ODETTE: What'd you do that for?

MARLENE: Ha, ha, ha! Only Celia would think of calling the police because her man was sleeping with another woman.

CELIA: That's not what I called her for.

JUNE: Then what?

CELIA: I threw a bag of weed through her window.

JUNE: Marijuana?

CELIA: No, green grass. Of course marijuana. Sometimes, June, I think you must be the most naive person.

ODETTE: Good one, Celia, good one.

JUNE: How could you?

CELIA: Simple, I took aim and threw. And don't 'how could you' me. As if you haven't done some nasty (expletive deleted) in your life. Not because you're so prim and proper. I know about the bag of dog sh-t you threw in your neighbour's yard.

ODETTE: June? You threw dog sh-t in Mr. Grosvenor's yard?

JUNE: His dog kept pooping on my lawn and he said I was to deal with itÉso I dealt with it.

CELIA: Yeah, right in his Jacuzzi.

MARLENE: June, I'm shocked.

JUNE: Anyway, tell us what you did.

CELIA: Well, every day Miss thang been walking by my door singing out loud and sh-t, as if she don't know she done slept with my man. Then one night I see them at the club and she plops herself on his lap and flips me the bird.

ODETTE: So you put marijuana in her house for that?

CELIA: You know a girl's gotta keep her rep. Ain't no bitch gonna bird me and get away with it.

MARLENE: What happened with the cops?

CELIA: Arrested her ass.

JUNE: Jesus, Celia, aren't you afraid you'll get in trouble?

CELIA: I'm not the one in trouble. You should a' seen her. I swear that bitch was more ashamed about going out in that dirty nightie than the marijuana they found in her living room.

MARLENE: I could never have done that.

CELIA: No, you'd probably throw it too late and get caught.

MARLENE: That's not even remotely funny.

JUNE: Marlene don't need to do nothing like that. She has her life under control.

MARLENE: WellÉnot really. I move out last month.

ODETTE: Moved out of where?

JUNE: What?

CELIA: You left John?

MARLENE: I wouldn't say I leftÉmore like we left each other.

ODETTE: But why? You guys were perfect together. You were the last couple.

MARLENE: No. We weren't. And you all know it.

JUNE: Was it the money?

MARLENE: That and everything else.

ODETTE: Like what?

MARLENE: The disappointment.

ODETTE: What disappointment?

CELIA: More than likely, the disappointment of his small (expletive deleted).

JUNE: Celia!

CELIA: Hush up! You gonna get me busted. The bitch done get bail and is burning the pavement for my ass.

ODETTE: So why don't you settle it once and for all and fight her.

CELIA: For Bruce?

ODETTE: For your honour.

CELIA: (Expletive deleted) honour. I need to keep my ass intact and my weave untouched. I ain't fighting that bitch. She knows some Chinaman sh-t.

JUNE: I thought you wanted to teach her a lesson.

CELIA: From a distance baby, from a distanceÉAnyway, enough about me. Honey, tell us why you finally decided to end the dolly house with Mr. John Franklin and how come we didn't know bout it.

ODETTE: Yeah, how come you didn't tell us?

MARLENE: No offence, but the decision was touch enough. I didn't want the drama.

CELIA: You ain't no Mary J. Blige, Marlene. What you talking bout drama? We here are your home girls. No drama queen here.

JUNE: Really, Celia? No drama queen?

CELIA: Hush up, June, and let the girl talk.

MARLENE: It wasn't only the bills and the constant lack of money. I could deal with that and even the arguing. But I was disappointment in myself and our marriage.

JUNE: I don't understand. Why were you disappointed?

CELIA: I know where you're coming from, girl.

MARLENE: You do?

CELIA: Hmhm. It was the same with Bruce. The day I saw him coming out that ho's apartment, my heart took a dive and I'm still trying to scoop it off the floor.

ODETTE: Why, Celia, I didn't know you had a heart?

CELIA: Ha. ha. You should be a comedian.

ODETTE: Sorry.

JUNE: I still don't get it.

MARLENE: I don't know how to explain itÉ

CELIA: Let me. With Bruce it wasn't that I didn't expect him to cheat - he's been cheating since the day he was born - but it was like, if he did, he'd go across townÉyou know, save me the embarrassment. That's my disappointment with Bruce.

JUNE: You knew Bruce cheated around on you and you stayed?

CELIA: Sometimes, leaving's the hardest thing to do.

ODETTE: That's so true. It's not even the breakup but the embarrassment and the knowing that you failed at something so inevitable. Know what I mean?

MARLENE: Yeah. This mating stuff's supposed to be natural. You know, me Jane, you Tarzan, and all that.

CELIA: Man was meant to be with woman or some such sh-t.

ODETTE: So, what happened with John?

MARLENE: Well, after ten years of marriage, we had nothing to show for it except for the kids and a mountain of debt. He was always at work and I was always at work. On weekends we were both at work. It go so the sitter took home more than we did, and the kids were calling her Nana.

JUNE: So why didn't one of you switch jobs?

MARLENE: We tried that, remember? All happened was onewas always at work and the other was stressed out with the kids. Our lifestyles were killing us and neither of us wanted to let go.

CELIA: You mean he didn't want to let go. Remember he was the one who turned down the smaller house.

MARLENE: It was important for him to keep a certain profile.

JUNE: But surely he could sell from anywhere as long as it's near the city? Moving to another neighbourhood would have saved you guys a bundle.

MARLENE: Yes, but John didn't want to lose his client base: the entertaining and all that stuff.

CELIA: Sounds like John got himself trapped in the picket fences.

ODETTE: The picket fences? What's that?

JUNE: It's the proverbial perfect life: nice suburban house, white picket fence, two kids, dog, money, good job, good carÉthe usual.

ODETTE: That exists?

CELIA: Course it doesÉin black people's minds.

MARLENE: I think we both got fooled by it.

JUNE: Or maybe you both launched out too large too soon.

MARLENE: (Sigh.) That too.

CELIA: John was just too attached to his damned job.

MARLENE: It's not all his fault. I made the decision too.

ODETTE: Yes, but you wouldn't have done it if he hadn't pressured, right?

MARLENE: We both thought we wanted the perfect life.

CELIA: We all want that perfect life. It's because of all the sh-t our mothers tell us about being married with children and all that crap.

ODETTE: And the prince and the knight in shining armour.

CELIA: The only knights I've ever seen don't come in no damned armour. They don't even have a (expletive deleted) horse.

JUNE: Jesus, Celia, must you be so, soÉcrass?

CELIA: Must you be such a prude?

MARLENE: Girls!

ODETTE: Do you still love him, Marlene?

MARLENE: Who, John? Of course. I'll always love him. It's just that now we want different things, and until we sort ourselves out, we're better off apart.

CELIA: Who's keeping the house?

MARLENE: It's being sold.

JUNE: So you're where you want to be.

ODETTE: Where're you living?

MARLENE: Near Mom. She helps with the kids.

CELIA: How my babies handling all of this?

MARLENE: They're okay. They cried, like I did, but you know kids.

JUNE: How're you handling it?

MARLENE: I cryÉa lot.

ODETTE: Do you think you made a mistake?

MARLENE: Every day.

CELIA: Bet he blames you, right?

MARLENE: How'd you know?

CELIA: It's our birthright: women, beasts of burden.

ODETTE: Those are donkeys you're thinking of.

CELIA: Same thing.

JUNE: Yeah, but in a while he'll get over that and he'll come around.

MARLENE: You think so?

ODETTE: I know so.

JUNE: Are you good for money?

MARLENE: I'm fine with money. You'll never imagine how expensive the picket fences were. I even have money left over for a bit of shopping, though I'm keeping that on the quiet.

CELIA: Girl, it's about time. I was tired of your ass being broke all the time when you work so hard.

MARLENE: Nothing before the time, Celia, nothing before the time.

ODETTE: I don't think I'll ever leave Marty.

CELIA: Hmmm.

MARLENE: Why? You're always complaining about what he does.

ODETTE: I know. But with Marty, I don't have to worry about the bills. As a matter of fact, I don't even think about them.

JUNE: You're happy living like that? Don't you ever worry that one day he'll be gone and you'll have nothing?

ODETTE: Unless he goes to Iraq, he won't be getting away without some hefty payments. Plus I know stuff Marty wouldn't want Uncle Sam to find out.

CELIA: He might just kill your ass to shut you up.

ODETTE: Who? Marty? Marty's a pussycat. He's a white collar criminal. If he faced prison, he'd probably slit his wrists. I'm his confessor. I help keep his mind clear for the next day. Some women would freak out but I don't, and he loves that.

JUNE: But you were so miserable.

ODETTE: Not all the time. But when I look at what's out there and I remember where I'm coming from, I think Marty's a babe and I can handle it.

JUNE: I couldn't live like that.

CELIA: Sisiter, you haven't had our lives.

JUNE: That's not fair, Celia, and you know it.

ODETTE: Celia, leave June alone. It's not her fault she's to the manor born.

MARLENE: I don't think that makes her life any different from ours.

CELIA: It's the difference between Prada and Pradu.

MARLENE: Money isn't everything.

CELIA: You should talk.

JUNE: Shut up, Celia.

CELIA: Don't tell me to shut up. You get up in the morning and your day is set. You know exactly where you're going and who you're going to see. And you know that wherever you go, you'll be accepted, because your father's name still carries the punch it did twenty years ago. You don't have to worry about men because they all fawn over you, and you don't have to worry about tomorrow, ten years from now or twenty years from now, because with the money you have the rest of your life is sweet.

JUNE: That's an awful thing to say.

ODETTE: You have no right, Celia. None at all.

MARLENE: Why must you always be so mean? You're not happy unless everyone else is as miserable as you are.

CELIA: Oh sh-t! I apologise. I didn't mean what I said. I'm just p-ssed that our lives are shot to hell and yours is soÉperfect.

ODETTE: My life isn't shot to hell.

MARLENE: Speak for yourself.

JUNE: Let me get this straight. Because I don't have your problems, I have nothing to worry about?

CELIA: Pretty much.

JUNE: I guess you're right. Except I have other problems. Like people thinking I'm a weirdo or a dyke because I'm not interested in marrying the first handsome rich guy who comes along, and because I spend my days actually working when I could be out shopping like the rest of my peers.

CELIA: By the wayÉwhat's up with you and men? Are you really a dyke?

ODETTE: Celia!

MARLENE: Jesus.

CELIA: What? She brought it up.

JUNE: No, Celia, I'm not a dyke. And about the men. I'm not interested right now. I have a lot I want to do before I settle down.

ODETTE: Aren't you worried about your feminine clock?

JUNE: No. I won't let that or anyone force me into anything. If by the time I'm ready I'm too old, then I'll adopt.

CELIA: Right there!Right there! That's money talking. Never would you hear a poor woman say sh-t like that. That's pure money talking. Pure money and nothing else.

JUNE: It's not money, Celia, it's who I am.

CELIA: And I'm telling you that if you weren't born into it, you wouldn't be as confident as you are. You'd be like the rest of us, rocking our brains trying to figure out why the sh-t-for-brains man did you so wrong.

ODETTE: Speak for yourself.

MARLENE: Yeah, speak for yourself, Celia.

JUNE: Yes, I do admit that my money gives me certain freedomsÉbut don't you see, it's also a trap. I work just as hard as any one of you, and maybe more, because I always have to prove that there's something upstairs and I'm more than daddy's little girl. And I worry that if I slow down I'll lose what three generations of Dewburys slaved to build.

CELIA: (Expletive deleted) legacy! What's that anyway?

MARLENE: It's when -

CELIA: I know what Legacy is. I mean, where we get this notion that we have to tend to our forefather's legacy and not create our own

ODETTE: From our forefathers.

MARLENE: Sometimes I wish life wasn't this complicated.

CELIA: You said it, girl.

JUNE: Yeah. Me, too.

ODETTE: So, what're you girls going to do about your men?

MARLENE: I'm happy where I am. Plus, John called last night.

JUNE: He did?

MARLENE: He did. He suggested we have an evening out, just the two of us.

CELIA: What'd you say?

MARLENE: Yes.

ODETTE: Good for you.

JUNE: What about Marty, Carla?

ODETTE: Marty and I'll be okay. It's not all perfect, but it's workable, and right now that's all I can take. Maybe someday I'll change, but for now it'll have to do.

CELIA: Same here. Maybe in another few weeks I'll give Bruce his dog back and call a truce. And I'll probably apologise to that bitch and hope she doesn't go ballistic on me. After all, I can't be creeping out at sunrise and back after dark. I need me some good shuteye before big massa fire my ass.

JUNE: Why, Celia, you do have a heart.

CELIA: Just don't tell anyone. Gotta keep the rep, you know.

ODETTE: So what about the picket fences? What are we to tell our children?

CELIA: Build brick ones instead.

JUNE: You're so right.

ODETTE: I got you girl.

MARLENE: Amen, sister, amen.

END

- Charmaine Morris