Angela Philipps, Contributor

Spurred on by a very heated and, I might add, rude email which I received some weeks ago from a man who reads my column regularly, I decided to give this topic considerable attention. Clearly very angry with at least one woman who has burned him, this guy wrote to me and did not hold back on his words! Normally I would press the delete button immediately and move on to the next email, but a little bell of familiarity was ringing in my head.

I'd heard so many of my single male friends sing this tune recently. Perhaps there was weight to what he was saying. I guess at first I wanted to ignore it and accuse him of being grossly wrong about the female gender.

However, seeing as how I've listened to a similar story several times in the last year, there has to be some truth to this. It makes me cross, though, because this type of woman throws the rest of us in a very bad light.

Women joke about it a lot - "Make sure he has lots of dosh". "I want to marry a man with money". "As long as he's rich". "Does he have any money?" - get my drift? But, are they really just kidding around, or is this a serious and important factor to their lives?

Will a girl go to any lengths to find herself, and hook up with, a rich boy? Does personal wealth and good education mean that she will have different views about ending up with a man with moolah, to a lady who is in a less fortunate financial situation? Is it fair on those of us who are not greedy to be put under the umbrella of 'All Women Want Is Your Money'?

bewildered

I worked abroad for a while, and I remember my boss (who was female) telling me that she would not have married her husband had he not been rich. I was not only flabbergasted that she had done this, but also completely bewildered at why she had admitted this to me. I mean, she was so blatant about it - a little discretion here lady, are you trying to embarrass yourself? But she didn't even flinch when she said this to me.

In fact, she believed that I would aspire to have the same thing. She was furious when I chose to date the 'poorer' guy, rather than the one she had tried to set me up with the week before! It was the beginning of the end of my position with her ... can you believe it?!

Guy friends of mine have complained about 'money-grabbing women' over and over again. The poor gal needs money for her kids' school books, her mother's medical bills and her fancy hairdo. The rich gal wants to be wined and dined at expensive restaurants, bought overpriced jewellery and taken on holiday to those boutique hotels you read about in coffee table books.

They both work but, obviously, the latter can afford a more luxurious lifestyle, so why is it just as important to her that she land awealthy man? I can understand why the former will connive to get what she wants; more likely than not, she's been left in the lurch by a 'baby father' and she could really do with the extra cash (perhaps not for the hair though!) But the other one ought to behave a little better - honestly!

So where does this leave those of us who are not so shallow? We suffer from a reputation which is unduly given because of the behaviour of others. But guys, please hear me out. We are not all after your credit cards, some of us do actually believe in love. We're the ones who will pay our way, and if you're the type of guy who likes to 'treat' a lady, then we will try in every way possible to return the gesture by doing nice things for you. So before you go judging us and putting us all in the same 'bad name' section, realise this - some of us deserve to be in the 'love-grabbing' section.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com