Heather Little-White, Contributor
Any parent should be shocked to find out that his or her teenage daughter has cut parts of her body. An increasing number of parents are struggling with self-mutilation among teenagers. Self-mutilation is an emerging serious social problem in which teenagers and young adults inflict pain and injury through practices, such as cutting and burning their bodies.
Self-mutilation, also known as self-harm, self-injury or cutting, occurs in teens and young adults of all sexes between the age of 15 and 35. However, those who seek help for self-injury are usually middle- and upper-class teenage girls. The practice is difficult to define and understand. Medically, self-injury may be linked to borderline personality disorder. It is also observed among teens and young adults with bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders and multiple personality disorders. The practice may be combined with the dangerous use of mind-altering substances such as alcohol and drugs which makes its management more difficult.
Stepfather
There is the case of Cindyfrom an upper middle-class St. Andrew family, who started self-mutilation from age 15, using razor blades to cut her arms and legs. She was under severe stress as she had lost her grandmother, who was her confidante and mentor. A couple years before her mother and father had a nasty divorce and home was no longer the same. Her mother remarried a man whom she hated because he was mean to her mother. Besides, she was not doing well in school and was threatened with repeating a form if her grades did not improve. The first time Cindy cut her arm she found that she felt better emotionally. This became a regular habit at school and home, and the practice was only discovered one morning when the housekeeper found her blocked out from excessive bleeding.
Breaking bones
Self-mutilation may take many forms - from cutting, burning, breaking bones (digits), bruising, hair pulling to picking at the skin to create wounds and preventing them from healing. In extreme major cases, it may involve the amputation of the legs and genitals. Psychologists A. Favazza and R.J. Rosenthal, writing in Hospital and Community Health magazine, suggest that pathological self-stimulation is the deliberate destruction of the body without conscious suicidal intent.
Self-mutilation results from teenagers' inability to deal with stresses and intense emotions associated with teenage development. Unknown to parents, many teenagers experience feelings of aloneness and loneliness.
Teens may also experience anger, anxiety or sadness, and when they cannot find emotional support or an outlet for free expression, pressure builds up and they inflict pain and injury to their bodies. In effect, they use physical pain to blot out emotional pain to protect them from more emotional hurt.
Low self-esteem
Other reasons teenagers and young adults cite for self-injury are low self-esteem, unresolved cases of sexual, emotional and physical abuse, the need to feel in control and to get the attention of people who can offer help. Self-mutilation, especially cutting, is becoming trendy. Teens may give in to peer pressure to be identified as a 'cutter' and to be part of the 'in-crowd'. Curiosity of what self-mutilation entails may lead teenagers to try the practice.
A teenage self-mutilator may be a perfectionist who is expected to live up to certain performance standards set by parents and peers. When it becomes difficult to meet the standards, this leads to sadness and depression. In other instances, teens may face huge disappointments in areas of their lives.
Parental role
What can parents or caregivers do to help their children who are about to practise or are prastising self-mutilation? The tendency is to dismiss it as something that will pass but parents have to be very vigilant and watch for signs, such as withdrawing and a strong desire to be alone, bloodstains on the inside of clothing, unexplained cuts, burns, bruises and scratches, being embarrassed or ashamed about the injuries when discovered, and making excuses for them, wearing baggy clothing, long sleeves, long pants even in hot weather, eating disorders and low sense of self. Frequent use of bandages, cotton, ointments and frequent disposal of razors are other telltale signs. Very often, teenagers with tattoo or body piercings may be accused of being self-mutilators, but these fashionable practices are not typical of self-mutilators.
Parents should invest in spending quality time with their children, listening keenly as they talk with them. Even with hectic schedules, parents should make time to talk with their children, picking up clues from what they say and offer help where needed. Parents should not be judgemental in what they hear. At times, it is best to delay the response, which should come with honesty, help and counsel.
Recreation
Apart from providing the material trappings for their children, parents should get involved in the lives of their teenagers. Parents should take part in recreational activities with their children, like watching a movie, playing a game or musical instrument or exercising. Parents should assure children of their support when they need it. The use of humour is useful to help make conversations flow and reduce tensions that teenagers and young adults may be experiencing. Parents should also discourage children from viewing websites that promote self-injury, and encourage them to associate with friends who are positive influences.
Raising teenagers and young adults today is not only challenging but scary for parents and other caregivers. Self-mutilation, though weird and frightening, is a practice that parents will have to understand as a cry for help as they guide their children's development to adulthood.
Name changed on request
What's the problem when young people injure themsleves?
A teenage self-mutilator may be a perfectionist who is expected to live up to certain performance standards set by parents and peers.
