KELLY

I am always inawe when I hear a women chastise a gentleman for not saying what's on his mind. Truth is (and I would think they know this by now), they don't really want to know. Trust me!

If she puts on a yellow, polka-dot blouse and wants to wear it with a burgundy skirt and green shoes, she will ask how she looks. Seriously, what are we supposed to say? The truth? God forbid! We'll lose teeth if we do that.

Now, knowing when not to say what's really on your mind is a valuable lesson for students and children too. For example, let's say a teacher chastises the whole class for not studying the chapters he/she told you to, but still quizzes the class about said chapters and ends a question with "And I want an answer!" We all know there is an itching desire among some students to say "Oh you do? We thought you were just babbling away as usual."

Rhetorical

It's what we'd like to say but we won't and shouldn't. And how about the always rhetorical "yu hear me?" which is usually bellowed at you while the person is standing right in front of you. "No ma'am, I didn't hear a thing. Could you repeat that? I don't think the deaf children in South Africa heard that one!" We'd love to say that and other cheeky things but we (mercifully) keep our lips sealed tighter than a can of compressed hashish.

Of course, sometimes it's the things you didn't say that can get you into even worse trouble. Like rolling your eyes when you have to clean your room or frowning when it's your turn to go to the shop. "Nuh mek up yuh face!" or "why yu must always do that", are familiar replies and I'm sure you can come up with a few more. The thing is, you're really in a no-win situation as long as you don't have the ability to stay stone-faced or have a ready smile to flash at a moment's notice to cover your true feelings. Otherwise, one way or the other, you'll be in trouble.

Of course, having the right attitude from the beginning would be a great help, but thanks to Adam and Eve man is never going to be perfect, so forget that.

So, the next time somebody says something that you have an absolute whopper of a response to, think about how high up the ladder you are in comparison to the other, and take it from there.

Tell me about it at daviot.kelly@ gleanerjm.com