Angela Phillipps, Contributor

I recently received a hilarious round-robin email proclaiming what the rules of barbecuing are. The gist of it was that a woman will do everything needed to pull off a successful one, apart from placing the meat on the grill and removing it - which is what the man does.

She'll even tell him when the meat is ready to be taken off the BBQ, but at the end of it all he'll be the one to receive all the praise. So, not counting professional chefs, can single men really prepare a good all-round meal? What do they think counts as cooking? What do bachelors keep in their kitchens?

The guy I am dating cannot cook to save his life! OK, that's a little bit of an exaggeration. If someone's life depended on it I guess he would be able to come up with something. Let me give you an example. We'd been seeing each other a few weeks when we decided to go toa movie. I was on my way to his house when he called. "Have you eaten?" he asks. I had not, so he offered to cook something for us. That sounded good. I arrived and was ushered into the living room to make myself comfortable while he 'ingeniously' whipped something up. I heard sizzling, smelled garlic - my appetite was rising - and was presented with dinner (if you can call it that) on a tray.

It was terrible

In I tucked. Well, let's just say that I gave it a chance and had three bites before deciding it was terrible. At first I did the polite, "Hmm, this is nice. What's in it?" He proudly announced, "Pasta, garlic, onions, tinned tuna, tinned mushrooms and (wait for it) tinned clam chowder!" NO WONDER it was horrid. He'd mixed canned soup with pasta!

And why is it that single lads have to douse EVERYTHING with so much pepper? Well, at least it would have camouflaged some of the awful concoction which sat at the back of my throat, but it was so hot that flames were flicking out of my nose! I quickly developed a 'tummy ache' and suggested we get going if we didn't want to miss the movie.

So now I ask you, do men truly believe that taking food out of cans and packets and mixing them altogether in one pot can seriously be called cooking? You know, it's one thing if they do this kind of thing for themselves, but to suppose it would lure a woman? It's not as if we live in the boondocks. We're in a city, for goodness sake - there are many restaurants, take-outs, etc. I sound ungrateful, don't I? I'm not, but when last did you check out the kitchen of the man you are dating?

Fridge contains: Lots of beer, a bottle of wine (if you're lucky), a can of Pepsi or Coke, Gatorade galore, and copious amounts of condiments (in fact, there is usually about three bottles of each type)!

Freezer contains: Bacon, ready-made burgers, ice tray with two cubes of ice, and a tub of ice cream with one teaspoonful of rum and raisin left.

Cupboards contain: Rum, pasta, rice, several variations of tinned soups, vegetables and fish, and more condiments. Good luck if you want a cup of tea - there might be a couple bags left in a filthy box, but you'd be hard-pressed to find sugar that wasn't all compacted together in a lump the size of your fist. And I'm going to laugh if you think you'll see milk anywhere. I guess there's a chance there'll be a drop of stale milk in a carton left out on the counter.

Moral of the story, ladies - always take one of the following options: Go out, get take-out or cook dinner yourself. Don't try to figure it out.

A bachelor's kitchen is indeed a mystery to us all - leave it at that.

Email: angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com