( L - R ) Beenie man, Wayne wonder

Mel Cooke, Freelance Writer

There are a few signs that a party at Mas Camp is in crowd trouble. Lack of crowd trouble. And on Saturday night, all the signs were there for 'Retro Re-Loaded'.

The first is no cars on the sidewalk on Oxford Road, New Kingston, along which The Gleaner hustled past midnight. The second is the long faces of the vendors at the intersection of Belmont and Oxford and those on Saturday night were longer then the lines of United States visa hopefuls that once snaked along the sidewalk not far away.

The third is that the traffic control barrier at the entrance to the parking lot is lifted, indicating that there is parking inside. So much for the parking hustlers' jobs for the night. The fourth is (gasp!) more than ample space inside to park.

As if that is not enough, there is a woman walking away from the entrance, phone glued to her ears, complaining that "nutten nah gwaan, me a go home".

And all the signs were correct, as it seemed that there were fewer people inside Mas Camp than cars outside in the prime party hours of close to 1:00 a.m. The deejay on Sparkles plugged away, though, Rihanna's Pon The Replay marking a transition from hip hop.

Leaving early

There was a regular departure of the already very few, two ladies in matching white pants and hefty rear ends calling it a night as Wayne Wonder crooned "no letting go, no holding back". The deejay announced the Diwali rhythm from 2002, Bounty Killer, Spragga Benz and TOK among the artistes making their contributions. There was also the request to "meet me at the party"; unfortunately, not many had got the message.

A lass who had been trying to 'wuk up' a vibe with her partner, who was leaning against a metal pole near the rear of the venue, gave up and the pair trudged along to the gate as Wayne Wonder urged Bounce Along, but the Fiesta rhythm with Beenie Man's Dude and Dick got the few moving. One slender man clutched a large lady in brown from behind and swayed, proving that faith can move, if not mountains, then large hills.

One long-legged lass in brown pants twirled her hips to Vitamin S and on King of the Dancehall, a shorty in a short black skirt and white top duly backed it up against a happy man in full white. Beenie Man's command to "back it up, jack it up" got two restarts, Munga Honourable got similar treatment for the command to "wine pon it and talk to me".

The DJ went into a series of dance songs, starting with Tek Whe Yusself, which quite a few of the handful had already done, the lively shorty in short black skirt having all the room to be a raging heifer, forefingers at the sides of her head.

Kartel's request to "mek me wine pon yu" got three restarts, but by 1:30 a.m., as Kartel encouraged "wine", Mas Camp was really scanty, the lass in brown pants and her crew of two having departed. This meant many an eyeball for Miss Black Skirt, which she seemed to enjoy, her shoes now off and rear end touching her heels as she bottomed out on a wine to the ground.

When Elephant Man encouraged "drop dead" a bit past 1:30 a.m., it seemed 'Retro Re-Loaded' had done just that, The Gleaner making its way to the exit as the beat changed to hip hop.