Angela Philipps, Contributor

It is said that men do not fall in love as often as women, but when they fall, they fall harder and deeper. All very subjective of course, but doesn’t this ring true to some of you? Surely a man can suffer greater pain than a woman at times? Just because men are typically the tougher ones does not mean that their little souls can’t be destroyed by a lost love.

Listen, I am not saying that women’s hearts can’t be damaged – they can. But, we tend to have more sympathy for females when it comes to the emotional aspects of life. What about the lads out there? I mean if all of them were cold, cynical and calculating, then there’d be no engagement rings, no honeymoon destinations, no single fathers fighting to keep joint custody of their children, and ‘no giving away’ their daughters at weddings!

The man I am dating had his heart ripped out by his fiancée of the time, about 15 years ago. She abused his generosity and kindness; she took his feelings for granted, and on top of it all, was unfaithful to him time after time. He loved her more than anything in the world, so he forgave her of all the rotten things she did.

Was this naïve and stupid of him? You might say so, but he believed in commitment and he knew that life was never going to be perfect. He was so in love with her that he was willing to accept all who she was. That’s what you do when you decide to spend your life with someone - for better or for worse. I’d say this is a quality which is necessary to keep most marriages together. In the end, she was the one who left, and though his adoration for her died many years ago, he was devastated for a while.

Distressed

I can tell you another story – of a guy who went out with my best friend when we were all quite young. Years later, he was engaged to another woman, and he married her within several months. Six weeks after the wedding he found out that she had been, and still was, having an affair with another man before they were betrothed. Now, can you imagine being in the ‘honeymoon’ stage of wedded bliss and discovering this mind-blowing news? I want to throw up just remembering how distressed he was for months and months. I mean you can’t really get much worse than this when it comes to having your heart split into a million pieces.

How does a man even try and get over this? Time I guess. But it’s difficult to comprehend why someone could do this to anyone, let alone you right? Think about it – the vows you make – the promises of a happy life together. And all along one person is lying, and it’s not you. Even if it hasn’t happened to you, you could possibly empathise with your fellow man to which it had.

You’re not only dealing with sentiments here, but also with ego. The embarrassment of other people knowing all the ins and outs of the private intimacies which occurred is almost as bad, especially for men. No matter what you might think, it is important to them.

Why would a gal do this to the supposed love of her life? Perhaps years down the line she could get bored of being married, but to deceive the poor lad while she is in the happiest part of their relationship? Isn’t that what the engagement and wedding are? Aren’t those the best and most exciting times?

You know,maybe she has burnt herself in the past, and so acts this way as her ‘revenge’ to all men. But why should an innocent man suffer? His heart can bleed too you know.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com