Leethan Grandison, Outlook Youth Writer 
Tamian Beckford, president of the National Secondary Students Council giving a motivational speech recently.
Recently, I read a letter addressed to the counsellor in Youthlink magazine, of a young lady who stated that she had a big problem talking to people. I recalled her saying that her peers thought that she was ‘stuck-up’. However, she stated that was not the case as she was just shy and afraid of saying the wrong things.
Shyness is probably one of the worst problems we as teens may face. It involves the constant concern that others are looking at you negatively or detachment so extreme that it hinders you in any situation. To some extent, shyness is normal especially when we consider going into a new environment such as a new school. However, when that inhibits you it’s time that you consider overcoming the problem.
While it may be true that not everyone has an outgoing personality, having self-confidence will help to overcome this problem. Let’s first examine what is meant by self-confidence and poise, before we go into developing them. The Oxford Pocket Dictionary defines self-confidence as “a feeling of self-reliance and certainty”. It also defines poise as “carrying one’s self gracefully or with dignity, composure and self-assurance”.
But, while self-confidence and poise may seem hard to develop, Outlook Youth believes that having a good understanding of one’s problems may be the first step to developing self-confidence and poise. Counsellors such as Reverend Stephen Claude-Hyatt, who responded to the young lady, opined that people who are introspective by nature may be easily embarrassed, timid and find it difficult to communicate with others or plain shy.
On the other hand, it is said that shyness is akin to modesty and humility, which are said to be great qualities in a person. A shy person is usually valued as a keen listener, discreet and not aggressive. However, when such a thing prevents you from realisingyour fullest potentials and affects your work, relationship with others and makes you feel that you have to do something about it, it is not right.
Remember, shyness does not define who you are, but actually your behaviour and reaction to situations, among other things. This thing called shyness allows many to think negative of themselves, that they are unworthy, stupid and even anti-social. It also causes them to make bad judgement about others.
OVERCOMING IT
The suggestions from the experts is that you:
■ Start by setting reachable goals.
■ Think positively and do not withdraw yourself from others or become too preoccupied with your self.
■ Stop worrying whether you are being evaluated; this can give others the impression that you are unfriendly, or worse, “stuck-up”.
■ Wear things in which we feel comfortable and as such minimise apprehension.
■ Join an extracurricular activity such as service groups, so that you are able to go out and develop your oratorical skills. Plus, being involved in service groups does much to boost your self confidence.
Being shy can lead to the loss of opportunities and the chance to grow. Additionally, it makes you miss out on the joys of meeting new people and making friends.
It is not hard to overcome your shyness, all you have to do is identify the problem and work objectively to correct it, while bearing in mind that you have to convince yourself that you need the change.
Read books on social behaviour; they provide you with a marvellous feeling of security as they equip you with a sense of self-assurance.
Tamian Beckford, president of the National Secondary Students Council giving a motivational speech recently.
For the most interesting teen issues and styles, get your copy of Youthlink magazine on news-stands on Tuesday.
