A.P Photo PORTLAND, Oregon (AP):
At first glance, the net-stockinged blonde and her sexy look changing a tyre on the cover of the new book Lube Jobs triggers an impulse to lock up husbands and kids.
Well, the kids for sure.
But authors Don and Debra Macleod just want to have a light-hearted look at marital sex. Their book, Lube Jobs, is a how-to manual aimed at jump-starting marriages that have drifted into boredom or become stuck because of today's pressures and the endless litany of daily priorities.
It's a sex manual tailored to the tensions of today's hectic life. It is not the first book on the topic from the Alberta, Canada, couple, who wrote the 2004 book The French Maid: And 21 More Naughty Sex Fantasies to Surprise and Arouse Your Man. And another book is in the works.
Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex is essentially light-hearted but addresses sensitive issues that are taboo in many minds.
"It won't fix a relationship that's broken or abusive," Don Macleod said of Lube Jobs in a recent interview. But for a sagging relationship, "you can get the spark back again" if the book's rather explicit instructions are followed as far as a couple wants to take them.
drew on experiences
A marriage, like a car, needs maintenance, an occasional jump-start, they said, which inspired the title, sort of. They drew on their experiences and those of others to maintain or fire up a normal relationship strung out by dual jobs, churlish bosses, the kids, financial obligations and more.
A bottom line, said Debra Macleod, who has English and law degrees, is that "most women don't appreciate how important sex is to men" and that it needn't be complicated it can be your choice.
They said they realised how overwhelming events can sap a marriage when their son was born two months prematurely. The letter 'B', they write, stands for both 'Baby' and 'Boss'. They credit the information they give in Lube Jobs with saving their marriage after the stress they both endured following their son's birth.
Now, Don Macleod says they invoke a daily "15-30-minute rule". For the first 15, he said, his wife will do what he wants, even if it's only asking how his day was in the oil patch where he works between Calgary and Edmonton.
"For the other 15, if I'm feeling frisky, I'll do something for her," he said.
"Most of us in committed relationships want our partner to be happy, but life has a way of pulling us in so many directions," they say in the book.
Debra is a petite, dark-haired woman who has a matter-of-fact wit about a subject that makes some people squirm. She and her husband, a stocky, sandy-haired man with a no-nonsense demeanour, tackle the topic head-on with an attitude of "well, it is what it is so let's say so".
maintenance sex coupons
Thebook offers a variety of "maintenance sex coupons" that can be left discreetly to break the ice and are redeemable for ... well ... A few blank coupons are included for anything that might be forgotten, which isn't much.
"Most women experience ups and downs in their sexual attraction to their long-time partners but for many women in otherwise healthy relationships, the 'downs' can be lifted with just a little effort," the couple writes.
Much of their advice evolved from a questionnaire in three parts, one for couples to fill out together and two parts for partners to complete independently.
"It's time to take your relationship off cruise control, pull over and perform a thorough roadside check," they advise.
"Both female and male respondents expressed gratitude for having been given a reason to stop and examine their sex life in a direct way," the couple writes.
honest answers
They said that through honest answers and shared responses, both partners gained insight into the others' feelings and stresses.
"Are there areas that need work? It's simple maintenance but when we're flying along on cruise control it never seems to get done."
The appeal of parts of Lube Jobs will not be universal. But for couples who want to get things back on track, there are endless detailed suggestions, the Macleods say. Take your pick: Morning? Night-time? In the shower? Under the table? In a parked car?
You choose.
