Angela Philipps, Contributor

Well, are we? Is it in our genetic make-up to have the desire to be hitched to one man for the rest of our lives? Or perhaps we are brought up to believe that once out of college and established in the working world, we should be looking to settle down and have children. What happens if we can't find the right person to commit to? Does it put us under so much pressure that we become fixated with the notion that we must be a bride?

For most women I think that it is very important. It gives a sense of security, both emotionally and financially (for some). It can cure the feelings of loneliness and rejection. If one wants to produce offspring then it's the natural step before going down that road, and the idea of growing old with someone gives many women a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Things have changed dramatically these days from when our grandparents were tying the knot. We tend to take the plunge a lot later than they did, and the age which women are considered to be 'on the shelf' has increased. However, biologically we remain the same.

The window for conceiving children has not changed for gals, so it's not surprising that those of us who are single might become a tad nervous about delayed nuptials! But there's a limit to the amount of time one can listen to a singleton go on about it!

I was in New York City for a while and was surprised at how open the ladies were about their state of singleness. I mean, some of them just did not know when to stop. Discussions about engagement rings were obscene, if you ask me. "I want a two-karat diamond when I get engaged," says one girl without a boyfriend. "Well, I'm not accepting less than a three-karat one," says the other. And this is just one example of conversations which I was privy to. And the same people would engage in this kind of dialogue several times.

Baffled

Are they even thinking about the potential man himself? Do they imagine that an expensive stone is going to comfort them when they're down, talk to them about the day's events, and help them to raise children? I'm not saying that it's not a lovely thing to have this traditional symbol of devotion between two people. I'm just baffled as to how women who aren't even in a relationship can make such demands!

What about those of our gender who go out on the town solely to find a man? It's not the ones who are looking for a little bit of 'slap and tickle' who I am talking about. I mean the ones who are actively searching for a husband. Every man they meet is put through an 'interview' process, so to speak. "What is your job?" "Who's your family?" "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" "Do you want kids, if so, how many?" It can be frightening to say the least.

Waking up next to the wrong man

I remember one friend crying because she thought she'd never find someone. Trust me. I know how lonely it is to be on one's own, but I'm sure I've said this before: There is nothing worse than the loneliness you feel when you wake up next to the wrong man.

It was heart-wrenching to see her bawl like a baby though. She truly thought that her life would not be complete if she didn't get married soon.

It's funny but I have never viewed it like that at all. There is little else that is as wonderful as being in a very happy and loving relationship, but I have been single and I have not had a burning desire to walk down the aisle.

I have always figured that when the right person comes along, and we are both feeling the same desires, then it'll be a natural progression for us to exchange vows. Does that make me obsessed with marriage to a certain extent?

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com