Tym Glaser

AMONG ALL the great games and pastimes man has come up with to fill his leisure time none is more simple or pure than track and field.

Performance enhancement aside, track and field events reduce sport to its most basic component of mano a mano or womano a womano.

Along with wrestling, most of the events we are now watching at the World Championships in Osaka are nearly as old as time itself and many have their origins in another favourite human pastime called war.

The pointy stick

The javelin is pretty self-explanatory and Czech legend Jan Zelezny, born in another place and time, would have been more than useful on a battlefield with his ability to throw the pointy stick almost 100 metres. Of course, the reload would take quite some time and, unless he was extremely lucky, he would only be able to take out one foe at a time.

Personally, I'd hold on to the spear and 'juk' my enemies with it instead of throwing it away but that really wouldn't be much of a sport to watch.

The discus baffles me a bit because I can't see how throwing plate-like objects at people is going to cause any great damage.

I assume the ancient Greeks came up with the discus as they seemed to be in a perpetual state of war and probably ran a bit low on arrows and spears at times. Also, if you've ever been to a Greek wedding you'd know they just love throwing - and breaking - plates.

I'm sure as the Persians advanced, the canny Greeks brought their archers to the fore, followed by the spearmen and then, for the coup de grace, called up the kitchen staff to rain plates on a crockery-shocked foe. That sure would have sent them pesky Persians scuttling back across the Aegean.

Putting the shot obviously came in later times and while throwing a cannonball at an enemy is going to cause him little problem (unless you dropped it on his foot), competition to see who could throw the ball the farthest probably broke up the tedium between battles.

Now, the hammer throw is a little more confusing because it's a little cannonball at the end of (what used to be) a chain.

That means it was either in effect before cannons were invented or was employed as a desperate measure when the cannons broke down.

I suppose even the pole vault could have had military uses as you could, theoretically, leap over parapets with the greatest of ease it's unlikely the besieged would have a comfy cushion in place for you to land upon.

Relaying messages

Running, of course, has many uses in battles. The hallowed charge was a staple of all wars up until WWII although I fail to see how getting to the scrimmage line first enhanced your chances of longevity. I would have saved my limited speed for running the other way which is known as retreating.

The relay, of course, was the original method of passing messages over long distances before man invented the horse and who can forget the marathon which is named after the place where the Greeks repelled the Persians.

Game soldier Pheidippides was told to pass on the good news to the folks in Athens. He ran, without stop, the 26 miles back to the city-state said, "We beat 'em" (in Greek) and then promptly died. Hush.

Still the one event I don't get is race walking, which is an obvious tautology to start with. Maybe it comes from fast marching, perhaps, but watching the women waddle in the 20km race on Thursday evening just looked plain silly and no self-respecting army would ever travel likethat. Walk races are also severely flawed because virtually all the competitors break out into a trot at some stage or other.

I figure the event remains a staple of the World Championships and Olympics so white people can have a chance to win medals too.

Later ...

PS: U.S. Open tips: Roger the dodger and Serena.

feedback: tym.glaser@gleanerjm.com