Many women are financially independent and have achieved these on their own, so what younger and older women are now seeking from a man are love and companionship.
Mrs. Kathy Roberts, counselling psychologist, suggests that most women are really confused about the subject of money. "There are some who would like to have the best of both worlds (love and money). If they can have both, then that's wonderful."
It is difficult to generalise on topics like this because people are different, and there are so many varying views, but generally speaking, most women, if they are honest, will say that deep down, what they really want is love and appreciation. They want to feel loved and appreciated for who they really are inside.
But some are not quite sure how much value to place on the issue of money in relationships. Which is more important? Money or love?
Others are quite sure what their priorities are. Of those who are sure, many feel that their top priority is money. On the other hand, some would prefer to be loved and cared for, even if the man is not rich or even if they have to struggle financially.
The weight/priority people put upon the issue of love versus money in relationships will usually be determined by circumstances of upbringing, their value system, as well as by individual inclination driven by one's personality, the psychologist states.
In need of real love
Those who are honest will realise that they really need love. "Human beings are made for relationships - with God and other human beings - so most people are aware of an innate need for belonging and connectedness," Mrs. Roberts explains. She adds that for many people, what constitutes happiness is being able to relate well to significant others.
"One could say this is particularly true for a lot of women. Isn't it usually the women who are miserable if their relationship is not going well? Women tend to place higher priority on their relationships as opposed to men who often value their jobs/career more."
The counselling psychologist admits that she has observed a growing constituency of women (and perhaps more so younger women) whose top priority in life is to be financially secure - either by their own efforts or they go after a man with money.
"They may just be expressing the age-old expectation arising from centuries of conditioning - that a man should provide for them financially," she suggests. If they happen upon love along the way, that's great - it's the best of both worlds!
But, there might be other reasons for this.
Influenced by circumstance
If a woman is from a background where she has had to struggle financially all her life, she might really aspire to a situation where she is not scrounging around for money to make ends meet.
Still, others are determined that their children will have all the things they didn't while growing up. So they see marrying or linking up with an affluent man as a ticket out of poverty, the psychologist said.
Some women, she observes, are also driven by the extreme materialism which is sweeping the world and equate happiness with access to money.
"They are taken in by the affluent lifestyle which the media, for example, often portray as the ultimate. Many women, therefore, feel that happiness and success will be theirs once they have the money which will afford them such a lifestyle."
At the same time, suggests Mrs. Roberts, some women's self-esteem is low. "They feel thatthey are not worthy to be loved for themselves so they either go after men with money or seek to climb the financial ladder, thinking that money will make them worth loving - having money will bring them love."
Finally, she says, some women become cynical - they don't feel they will find the love they really need so they settle for men with money even if there is no love in the relationship - at least they will be comfortable financially.
Independent women
There is no simple reason why women do the things they do. Often, there are paradoxes in women's attitudes.
In commentary on this, the psychologist says, "In a curious way, we have come full circle. We have moved away from primitive times when women needed men for physical and material security and later for social status."
She notes that notwithstanding these contradictions, many women are financially independent and have achieved these on their own, so what younger and older women are now seeking from a man are love and companionship.
"For many modern women the top priority would be the kind of support a man provides emotionally (they want him to be genuinely concerned about their personal welfare) and with the day-to-day responsibilities of life - the household chores and looking after the children.
"These issues come up a lot in counselling. If they are happy with these levels of support, they don't mind chipping in financially and paying the bills. In fact, they have no problem at all bearing most of the financial burden, once they have this type of support."
