Heather Little-White, Ph.D.Contributor

Today, the eve of another general election, there will be several households bustling with activity preparing to help their party of choice gain victory at the polls. Politics may be defined as intrigue or manoeuvring within a political unit or group in order to gain control or power. Some view politics as partisan and divisive, obstructing good government. In some countries, politics has caused conflicts in relationships in households and at the societal level.

When one partner in a relationship supports one party while the other supports another or is neutral, it is more difficult to reduce conflicts. Donald and Roma Spencerhave supported opposing political parties for the 30 years they have been married. Donald is now a councillor with the governing party and Roma is an activist with an opposing party. The Spencers have enjoyed a harmonious relationship over the years because they respect each other's right to join their party of choice and they embrace supporters from both parties in their circle of friends.

Respect and trust

Donald told Outlook that apart from respect, the main factor was trust, in that whatever activity done at home for the party, he or his wife would not leak any information to the party they support, even when others try to pressure them to do so. Interestingly, the couple has two children and the boy supports his mother in her activities and the girl has plans to follow her father in representational politics. Mr. Spencer added that their difference in support for political parties has never impeded intimacy with his wife, even in the heat of an upcoming election.

Politics is at the heart of relationships anyway because ofthe power play in relationships. Politics is a means of recognising and, ultimately, reconciling competing interests within the relationship, either by autocratic means or by a non-coercive, or a democratic process. When the latter process is used, it is easy for couples to support opposing parties without disharmony in the relationship. According to Aristotle, politics stems from a diversity of interests. Consistent with Aristotle's view, it is a given that within the relationship both partners bring their own interests, wants, desires and needs.

Communication

Trust, of which Mr. Spencer speaks, is a critical factor in maintaining love and harmony.

Trust is an emotional skill to be built and sustained by the couple's promises, commitments, emotions and integrity. Mistrust can sabotage the vibrant growth of a union and could leave couples frustrated and angry with each other. The key to creating trust is communication, a willingness to bring an uncomfortable subject into the open where its processes can be analysed, understood, and rationally negotiated.

It is even more important for couples who support opposing parties to understand the nature of trust as outlined on About.com.

1. Trust is a two-way street: you get it if you give it. For example, if you want your partner to trust you, do not betray the trust by spilling the beans about his/her party activities you may glean in the home in the same way you would not want that for yourself.

2. To build your relationship on trust, you also have to trust the other person as much as you do yourself. It may be easy to accuse your partner for actions for which he or she is not responsible.

3. Sometimes people do not trust you because of the actions of a person close to you. It is all too common for the behaviour of your spouse to cause your party colleagues to doubt you. Accept that this is happening, do not fight it, and work at proving that in spite of the actions of others you can be trusted.

4. Sometimes, trust has to be earned. If you had trust but did something to break it, it is possible to fix things. But in doing so, remember that as the trust breaker you do not get to set the expectations, terms or time frame for earning that trust back. In order to fix broken trust, both sides have to want the trust back. You can never force a person to trust you.

5. Some people have been so badly hurt in the past that they have great difficulty trusting others. If you have a person like this in your life, accept that there will always be an element of mistrust in your relationship and be prepared to work overtime to prove that you can be trusted. It may be better to take confidential party activities to a venue where your partner cannot betray your trust because he/she will not know what is happening.

6. Trust is an essential part of all successful relationships.

Actions

Trust is a gift - you give it and you receive it. It should never be taken for granted. When the person you love sees your words lining up with your actions, trust will naturally follow. When you do not keep your word it causes your wife/husband to become fearful. When your partner has entrusted you with his/her heart, your trust is expected in return and simply needs your help in giving you what you want. When trust exists in a relationship, almost everything else is easier and more comfortable to achieve. Whichever party is successful at the polls, it means that you can commend your partner for the victory without harbouring hard feelings that could stifle your relationship.

Names changed for privacy

According to Aristotle, politics stems from adiversity of interests. Consistent with Aristotle's view, it is a given that within the relationship both partners bring their own interests, wants, desires, and needs.

'When people honour eachother, there is a trustestablished that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best,what is valued most highly.'

- Blaine Lee