Eulalee Thompson

I spent my Sunday just de-stressing. And, the strange thing is, I wasn't relaxing at a spa, driving through the mountains or preparing tea, I (along with many other participants) was having a bellyful of laughter at the 22nd annual medical symposium staged by Blue Cross of Jamaica at The Jamaica Pegasus hotel, in St. Andrew.

It was a medical symposium to explore stress, its aetiology and all that heavy stuff, but pull together your mental health professional and you will be exposing yourself not only to important health facts - but lots humour in the mix.

In fact, one of the speakers, consultant psychiatrist Dr. Aggrey Irons, said that our sense of humour is our most developed defence mechanism (those are strategies we employ to protect ourselves from emotional pain and internal and external stressors). Laughing, therefore, is one way to relieve stress.

The dirty dozen

Stress, of course, presents itself in many ways. In fact, in the same way that environmentalists have compiled a 'dirty dozen' of the worst chemicals and pesticides around town, some mental health experts have their 'dirty dozen' of the worst stressors (some good, some bad) that we face as human beings. They include death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, jail term, death of a close family member, personal injury or illness, marriage, marital reconciliation, dismissal from work, retirement, change in health of a family member and pregnancy.

You will notice that many of the major stressors occur within or around interpersonal relationships. Dr. Barry Davidson, leading relationship expert, told us, lining his presentation, of course, with humour, that many of life's stressors occur in the context of dysfunctional relationships. There's the balance of power to work out, careers, chores, past experiences that enter the current relationship and faulty communication patterns - all competing and putting strain and stress in relationships.

Men in charge

There may be some divergence in male/female experience and perception of stress. Pulling on findings from research on Caribbean men, the Cari-Man Initiative, clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Weller said, for example, that men experience stress in relationships when they think that 'men must be strong and must be in charge, men must head the household'. Some of these beliefs, he said, are mediated by strongly held religious beliefs.

Dr. Weller said too that some men also feel threatened by educated women and see the 'gender movement' as about supremacy and not equality. "Women are trying to rank it up against men; they want women to take it down a notch," he said. All these things are stressful for men whether real or perceived.

The thing is - one's perception is often one's reality. And so, another presenter, Dr. Wendel Abel, head of Psychiatry at the University of the West Indies, said in his characteristic high-energy presenting style, that top performing individuals have learnt to reframe their experience. You can choose to see the glass as half empty or half full with endless possibilities, he pointed out.

Dr. Abel also said that it is our thoughts that directly influence our feelings and behaviour; change the negative thoughts and you will change the experience.

So here's the thing, you really don't have to sweat the small stuff, release them and take control of your stress.

eulalee.thompson@gleanerjm.com

Some mental health experts have their 'dirty dozen' of the worst stressors (some good, some bad) that we face as human beings. They include death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, jail term, death of a close family member, personal injury or illness, marriage, marital reconciliation, dismissal from work, retirement, change in health of a family member and pregnancy.