Mark Dawes, Staff Reporter
Pastor Dianne Fletcher's autobiography is an inspiration for women and men alike. - Photo by Oliver Wright/Staff Photographer
Married at 19, Dianne Fletcher was upbeat about her future with her husband Franz. But by the 12th year of marriage, divorce was staring her in the face. Marital bliss was long gone. Then she and her husband discovered the power of God to heal relationships.
The Fletchers have been married for 34 years now and their bond has never been stronger. But the struggles of the early years have not been forgotten. The couple believe that their traumatic experiences should be shared with others who may be going through similar issues. That help is now available in Fletcher's new book, Victorious and Complete Woman, which will be launched on Saturday, October 6, at Family Church on the Rock, St. Andrew, at 6:30 p.m.
Suicidal tendencies
Not only is the couple happily married, but they serve together as pastors of Family Church on the Rock, in St. Andrew, a fellowship which played a major role in bringing about healing and reconciliation of the marital union.
Speaking with The Gleaner earlier this week, Pastor Fletcher explained that the main reason she wrote the book was to help people deal with strongholds in their lives - especially as such relates to feelings of being unloved, bitterness, suicidal tendencies and unforgiveness.
It was a project long in coming. "After the reconciliation of my marriage, everyone was saying to me, I have a story to tell. But I could not write it. Every time I attempted to write it, I was still bitter. I was still writing out of pain and hurt," Pastor Fletcher explained.
The breakthrough came about four years ago on the occasion of the birth of the first of her three grandchildren. She was overseas staying with her daughter and son-in-law. Her son-in-law said, "Mom you should write a book, you have so much to say." She had travelled with her laptop and so, she began the process of writing it took her four months to complete.
Her marriage had deteriorated resulting in her experiencing "terrible emotional pain" which could almost be called "emotional abuse", she said. "I allowed the devil to really bombard my mind. The devil can tell you things and you accept it, and it is what I now know as strongholds. Strongholds had taken over my mind. The book was written to help men and women who have allowed the strongholds of the mind to captivate them and imprison them. Now I am free. Things still happen. You can feel insecure and you speak to it," Pastor Fletcher said.
She explained that contained in the book are strategies that persons can use to take charge of their thought life by applying scriptures. The book is directed more at women than men. But men will benefit too from reading it, she said.
The Fletchers were married for about seven months before major cracks manifested themselves in the relationship. These cracks were not mended until 12 years later and a process of healing followed. At her lowest, Pastor Fletcher felt suicidal.
Divorce papers
During the times when her marriage was on the rocks, she and her husband were going to church as usual and hardly anybody knew of their struggles. Franz was choirmaster in a Christian Brethren Church in Kingston. "I walked by his side and smiled with everybody," Pastor Fletcher explained.
Then came a time when the couple separated. Pastor Fletcher went to live with her parents with her three children (two girls, one boy). She then served divorce papers on her husband.
According to her book, when her husband got the correspondence from her lawyers, he cried to God for help. Within moments, his phone rang. The person on the line encouraged him and told him that he was to hold on; he would soon be delivered. Pastor Franz Fletcher does not know to this day who the other person on the line was. He and his wife believe it was nothing less than an angel sent from the Lord.
The next day, the couple's friend, Pastor David Keane, called Franz, offering to help him as word of the marital problems had reached him. Pastor Keane and his wife, Pastor Denver Keane (now deceased) and three other friends, fasted and prayed for the healing of the Fletchers' marriage.
All this time, Fletcher had no clue about the special prayers that were being said for her marriage. She said in her book, "If I was, I would have been angry for I was finished with our marriage. I had experienced too many false hopes during our 12 years. I was filled with so much unforgiveness, anger and bitterness that I was a woman ready to explode if you ever came near me talking about forgiving Franz."
The following week she decided to visit a church other than her regular church. She chose Family Church on the Rock. She went to church with her children and was enjoying the service, and while worshipping, she sensed God telling her "this is now your church home". She had no problem with that demand from the Lord.
Then, all of sudden, her husband stepped into the church and her mood changed. He did not see her, nor did he know that she was going to be in that congregation worshipping that morning.
Fletcher was livid. She thought, "How dare him come to my church?" She said it took everything out of her to continue worshipping.
At the end of the sermon, the pastor gave a call and Franz, with hands lifted high, was among those that went forward. She became cynical and thought he was insincere.
Friend's encouragement
She wanted to leave the service early but for some reason, she could not get up from her seat. A friend encouraged her to go forward and she did and it felt as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. For a while, she did not remember that Franz was also at th>Then communion was served. There were not enough cups to pass around, so families shared the vessels. Someone guided her to a section of the room to share commu-nion, and before she knew it, she was standing beside Franz. "When he turned to me, all I saw in front of me was the man I had fallen in love with so many years ago. There was no longer any anger, hatred, bitterness or unforgiveness in my heart toward him. It was a miracle. He also testified that he felt the same way. All I felt was love for him. God had done a supernatural miracle.We went to our lawyers and instructed them to destroy any legal documents representing a divorce. Then we went to our parents and told them what the Lord had done for the family," Fletcher reported in her book.
She describes that meeting of her husband at th as a "Holy Ghost set-up".
Journey to work on issues
The couple began a serious journey to work out their issues. They took the decision also to change their church membership. They became new members of Family Church on the Rock.
Fletcher recounted that among the biggest things she had to deal with was forgiveness. She is not alone. She stressed that it is the number one issue affecting Christian women that seek her out for pastoral counselling she does not regularly counsel men, she believes it is also the number one problem affecting Christian men.
"They don't know how to forgive," she told The Gleaner. "If you harbour unforgiveness in your heart, your prayers will not be heard. That is what the Bible teaches," she stressed.
The book offers practical ways of dealing with forgiveness. For example, she encourages readers to say out loud, I forgive (the name of the person) and I bless (the name of the person). This is a Biblical derived life skill, she explained.
Fletcher,who has been pastoring for the past two years, said her book offers guidance to persons on applying scripture to attain emotional and psychological healing.
"Franz did not tell me that he did not love me. But I felt it. I listened to the lie of the devil. That comes in the mind and becomes real. It became magnified in my mind that "you are not loved" and one began to feel "nobody loves me". But nobody told me that they did not love me. How I dealt with it, I looked into the Word, which is what Christians don't want to do. Christians don't want to look into the Bible and do what God says. The Bible says every thought must remain captive to the word f God (2 Corinthians 10:5). So you have to apply the Word to the fact of emotional pain and painful experience. Pray back the Word to Him with verses like Romans 8:38-39, where it says nothing can separate the believer from the love of God.
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