Angela Philipps, Contributor
Why is money often an issue when it comes to dating, love and marriage? Is cash crucial for a contented relationship? One of my regular readers brought up these very questions in a recent email to me. He mentioned that in his research he'd discovered that most divorces occur due to monetary matters. I wonder if this is the case when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend situations?
In the past year I have written many articles which raise the subject of wealth in one way or another: women asking men out for a change; money-grabbing women; whether men can handle strong, independent women; what women really want; trapping the wrong man; where's the best place to take a woman out, etc.
The ideas for my column principally come from my own experiences, a few from my observances. In certain scenarios I am subjective, but if you look back at my published work in the last year you'll see that I've taken assorted aspects of single life into consideration.
It is now quite appropriate to sit and mull over the recurrent topic of personal economy.
Scenario One
Single Girl who likesand expects to be wined and dined
1. At a bar, a man approaches her and buys her a drink.
2. After chatting all night, he'll invite her to have dinner with him in the next week.
3. She gets excited if he sends her flowers.
4. She loves to receive gifts of chocolates, perfume, jewellery, clothes, etcetera, from him.
5. She dreams of him giving her a diamond engagement ring, house, car, etc.
Scenario Two
Independent lady who likes to look after herself
1. She'll be the one to buy drinks.
2. She'll go 'Dutch' with a man on a dinner date.
3. She gets excited if he sends her flowers.
4. She might be a bit sceptical if he gives her other gifts, especially perfume and clothes.
5. She would love to settle down, but will it bother her or him that she is the main 'bread' winner?
Traditionally, the pressure has always been on a man to provide for his woman. I'm quite sure it stems from the biological facts of life - we women bear the babies, they 'hunt and gather'. Nowadays we still bear the babies, but due to changes and reforms in culture, education, law and so on, we also 'hunt and gather'.
Some of us do the latter more than others, whether it is by choice or necessity. But the truth is it all takes a bag of funds to happen! And so naturally, right in the midst of a partnership, there lives the wheel of fortune. It spins us up, down and all over the place. It drives our moods, our hobbies and habits, our materialistic standards and often our very own characters. We can't help but think about it. After all, no matter how pure our hearts and souls are, we exist in a capitalistic world.
I wouldn't agree that being rich guarantees a loving and happy union - the saying 'money is the root of all evil' has some clout. However, I'd think that whatever your economical views are, try and find someone with similar ones. And be honest with yourself and your lover about this.
Arguments and separations are bound to ensue if you start off succumbing to another's ways when deep down you feel the opposite. But the truth is, we all need some form of currency to move through life, and that is why the world, and what's in it, does revolve around money!
angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com
