Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor,

I have had diabetes mellitus for the past three years. I have a difficulty learning to comply with the treatment regime. I am walking daily and taking my medicine most days.

- Maurice

Dear Maurice,

Management of a long-standing persistent condition can be quite challenging and tedious. Compliance with a treatment regime is problematic for most patients. We need to educate the patients about the need for behaviour and attitudinal changes.

Challenging cognitive distortions with cognitive therapy is good. We have various thoughts about our health which should be changed. Having a positive outlook on life will go a long way towards behaviour change. Changing behaviour and lifestyle is not an easy task. We can use some of the principles of behaviour modification to help make lasting changes.

You need to be congratulated for walking daily and taking the medications. We need to celebrate small successes appropriately. Making changes is difficult and you need to have skills and strategies for behaviour and lifestyle changes.

My son hasbehavioural problems

Dear Counsellor,

My son is 10 years old and is giving a lot of problems. He is stubborn and disobedient. He is disrespectful and gets into fights often. He is doing poorly at school. I would like your help.

- Maria

Dear Maria,

Behavioural problems are common in boys with learning problems. Boys do get frustrated when they are not learning and so start to act out their problems. They will start to show behavioural problems of disobedience, defiance and disrespect. I recommend that children, especially boys, be assessed for learning problems before age 10 and intervention programmes put in place.

Your son needs to get a psycho-educational assessment to determine his deficits and his strengths. We need to know whether he has attention deficit disorder or conduct disorder or oppositional disorder or mental retardation or a learning disability. These disorders affect the ability of a child to learn. Many boys are not reading at grade level and so develop self-esteem problems and put up a front to show that they are brave and manly. We need to attend to the emotional needs of the boys. Boys need a a great deal of love, affection and nurturing. They need to be validated and mentored. Each boy should have male and female supporters.

Encourage your son to talk to you about himself. He may tell you about his concerns and his difficulties. The cause of the problem is usually the learning problems. When you have dealt with the academic problems then the behaviour problems will disappear.

Sometimes your son might be provoked by his peers who will call him derogatory names and so he retaliates. Improvement of his academics will cause a rise in self-esteem and he will want to deal with the relationship problems in a different way. Many boys need to be taught on a one-on-one basis. He needs to be taught phonetic strategies in reading as well as ways to express himself.

Therefore, you need to speak with the school principal, teacher and a private doctor. They will make the necessary referrals for you.

Dr. Yvonne Bailey-Davidson. Telephone: 978-8602; Email: yvonniebd@hotmail.com.