Let's talk SEX: Toys that titillate
published:
Saturday | April 5, 2008
Dr Alverston Bailey, Contributor
A sex toy is any object or device that is primarily used to facilitate human sexual pleasure. The most popular sex toys are designed to resemble human genitals and can be classified as vibrating or non-vibrating. Another term used to describe them are adult toys or marital aids.
Sex aids or sex toys are used primarily on the genitals or around the genitals, but some can be used on other parts of the body. People use them personally or with partners.
There are many persons who object strongly to the use of sex toys and many myths abound regarding their usage.
Because of the abundance of myths and stereotypes, many people feel ambivalent about using sex aids. Some persons believe that using mechanical devices during intimate moments is unnatural, depersonalising or substitutive. An insecure individual may wonder if his or her partner is using a sex aid because of dissatisfaction.
While these concerns are understandable, it is not really the use of sex aids that contributes to ill feeling, but how they are used and what their use means to an individual or to a couple.
If the use of sexual aids objectifies or depersonalises sexual experiences, there may be a problem in the relationship that requires attention. If people are using sexual devices as a crutch because they feel inadequate or inferior, their negative feelings might need to be explored.
Under these circumstances, the use of sexual aids is an unhealthy substitute for addressing interpersonal conflicts.
healthy relationship
However, some couples find that a healthy relationship can comfortably accommodate the addition of sex toys, while others may find that after some experimentation they prefer not to use them.
As a rule, people who use sex aids tend not to use them every time they engage in sex and do not always use the same aid on each occasion.
These and other issues that may be raised as a result of introducing sexual aids should be seen as an opportunity for individuals and couples to explore their feelings and discover the problems in their relationships.
It is important to consider, however, that using sex aids is normal. But if you opt not to use them, there is no cause for concern. It is simply a matter of choice.
Although the majority of sex aids and toys are sold to people who use them just to enhance their pleasure, some can be used in the treatment of sexual problems such as anorgasmia (difficulty reaching an orgasm).
I will now introduce you to the myriad of sex toys that are available.
There are many options available. Don't feel obliged to use them if they make you feel uncomfortable or guilty, but remember, in this era of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, sex toys can offer individuals a safe alternative to penetrative intercourse.
Dr Alverston Bailey is a medical doctor and immediate past president of the Medical Association of Jamaica. Send comments and questions to editor@gleanerjm.com or fax 922-6223.
Goodies for the girls
Vibrators
Vibrators are electrical machines powered by batteries or plugged into electrical outlets. They come in different sizes and shapes; some have variable speed controls to allow the user to personalise the intensity of the stimulation. The more popular kinds of personal vibrators are battery-powered, cylindrical or penis-shaped in different diameters and lengths, and sometimes come with attachments for different parts of the body.
The G-spot vibrator is curved at the end to facilitate stimulation.
Bullet vibrators are small, bullet-shaped vibrators that can be used for direct stimulation or inserted into other sex toys to increase intensity.
The rabbit vibrator, of which there are several types, is a popular female sex toy popularised by the television series Sex and the City. It comprises an insertable shaft which often has additional functionality, such as rotation and internal beads or a thrusting action. Attached to the shaft is a vibrating clitoral stimulator. For most rabbit vibrators, this comes in the form of 'bunny ears' which sit on either side of the clitoris.
Ben Wa Balls. This device, which originated in the Orient, consists of a set of two metal balls. One is solid and is placed in the vagina near the cervix; the other one is partially filled with mercury and is also placed in the vagina, near the first one. Any movement causes the mercury-filled ball to hit the deeper one, spreading vibrations through the vaginal area. Women primarily use them on their own, but they can also be incorporated into sexual activity with a partner.
Dildos
A dildo is a non-vibrating device which is used for sexual stimulation of the vagina. Dildos are generally made of silicone rubber, metal or glass. They are often made to resemble a penis.
Common myths
Only perverts use sex aids.
Sex devices in a relationship are a sign of a dysfunctional relationship.
People who use sex aids become addicted to them.
Homosexuals use sex aids more than heterosexuals do.
A guy's best friend
Masturbators are devices with soft, usually latex sleeves, often designed to resemble the female vagina, into which a man can place his erect penis. If this sexual aid is an electrically or battery-powered model, it can be controlled by the user to operate at varying desired speeds to create a rhythmic motion, stimulating the man to reach orgasm.
Penile rings are ring-shaped devices made of metal, leather or rubber, usually from one and a half to two inches in diameter. The testicles and the erect penis are slipped through the ring, which fits tightly, putting pressure on the dorsal vein of the penis.The idea is that the ring will keep the blood that has engorged the penis from flowing out. The man will therefore retain his erection longer and, theoretically, be able to prolong his sexual activity.
A triple crown is a penile ring that has additional rings for restraining the testicles. In orgasm, the testicles usually retract towards the body before ejaculation. A triple crown changes and intensifies the sensation of orgasm by forcing the testicles to stay away from the body.
A penile harness is a more elaborate harness designed to be worn around the penis and scrotum. Its purpose is similar to that of a penile ring.
A ball lock is an ordinary padlock fastened around the male scrotum, separating the testicles away from the penis and not removable except by key or combination.
