Tony Williamson - ollar for your thoughts
In our last article, we looked at trouble. Trouble is universal. It will happen to all and sundry. We have trouble in our business, trouble in our family, trouble in our marriage, trouble in our health, and so on. No one escapes. No one is wafted on a satin pillow through life.
We all have rivers to cross, mountains to climb, obstacles to overcome. As Charles Dickens put it about your life and mine, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." How does one manage in a time of trouble?
Dr Robert Schuller once outlined four attitudinal philosophies and choices that you face in a time of trouble. Over the years, in my own life, I have found the knowledge of these four choices to be greatly helpful as I work my way through a problem. The four choices are resentment, passive acceptance, inventing a solution and finally, preventing a deterioration of the problem.
Useless reaction
The first choice before you is to resent the problem. Unfortunately, this reaction is as common as it is useless. Resentment is more damaging to you than it is helpful to the solution of the problem. Resentment, not unlike stress, bitterness and 'feelings' towards anyone or any situation, will only make you worse off during your problem.
If your problem is the loss of your job, the loss of a relationship, or the loss of money, do not resent it. When you face loss, do not look upon what you have lost; consider what you have left. There is never a total loss, as if you have life, you have hope. Begin to plan again more intelligently and see this as opportunity to grow again, bigger, better, wiser.
Your second choice is to simply consent to it, to act as if the problem did not exist. If you take this mental position, you are missing out on a great lesson that life is trying to teach you. You cannot ignore the problem.
Question
Ask yourself some questions. What might I have done differently? What are the steps to take now to move forward? Who has experience to advise me and counsel me? Seek help. If your marriage is falling apart, don't give up on it or ignore it. Seek counselling from a professional.
Your third choice is to invent a solution. It has been said that every failure, every heartache, every adversity brings with it the seed of an equivalent or greater good. You can bounce back from every ill wind, for every cloud has a silver lining. So face your problem, learn from it, grow by it.
Finally, if you have a problem which defies immediate solution, the least you can do is to prevent it from getting worse. Let's suppose you were recently diagnosed a diabetic. It's a waste of mental energy to curse your luck. Instead, you can obey your doctor and keep the disease from getting worse. You can ignore it and eat all the mangoes you want - and take the consequences. Or you can change your diet and lifestyle, things that you have the power to control.
Three types of people
Orison Swett Marden, the inspirational writer, said, "There are three types of people in the world. There are the WILLS, the WON'TS and the CAN'TS. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything."
My question to you is this: In the face of your current problem, in which category are you? Take a mental inventory of yourself, 'a check-up from the neck up'.
Life will always be a challenge. You are not alone in facing the problems of life. Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up this way: "Nature provides the exercise, the challenges for the development of the person. All development is the result of effort, and this effort is what strengthens the person." Never give up!
Tony Williamson is an international motivational speaker, sales trainer, author and lifestyle consultant. Email tonywilliamson_57@yahoo.com.
