Q Doctor, I am a businesswoman. And I have to be quite frank with you. I have two lovers: one at either end of the island.
For contraception, I rely on a 'diaphragm' or 'cap'. I got this device 10 years ago from a doctor in Miami.
What I need to know is this. Is it OK to use the same diaphragm for both lovers?
A Well, yes - it's OK, provided that you wash the device thoroughly after each use, and dry it carefully.
However, diaphragms and caps tend to wear out and develop little holes! Generally speaking, they are NOT meant to last for 10 years. So I feel that you must urgently seek advice from a doc who is well versed in contraception - and get the doc to prescribe you a new diaphragm, or perhaps some other methods of contraception.
Risky behaviour
It is not for me to comment on the ethics of your relationships with two guys. But I am sure you realise that having two men in your life must double your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
I wonder if your two guys have other sex partners? If so, there must be a chance that one of your boyfriends will pick up venereal disease, or even HIV - and give it to you!
Also, what you may not realise is that a diaphragm provides very little protection against STDs. So please take care of your health.
Q I am female, age 56, and I have been on that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) thing for five years.
Now my doc is refusing to give me any more tablets, because he says they are dangerous. But I have a friend who is a health worker, and she says that HRT has now been shown to be OK.
Who is right?
A Well, some years ago it became clear that HRT caused rather more side effects than doctors used to think. It now seems that the risk is not all that bad - but it does exist.
So most docs will prescribe HRT to help stop menopause symptoms. But they are reluctant to give it 'long term'. Also, they are not keen on giving it to women who are at special risk of developing a thrombosis (a clot) - for instance, heavy smokers.
The latest research on this subject comes from France, where scientists are claiming that it is safer to take HRT through a skin patch than to take it by mouth. So maybe your doc would agree to prescribe it for you as a patch.
Q I have developed severe pain, which runs from my left buttock and down the back of my left leg. Why?
A Pain running from the buttock down towards the ankle is real common. This symptom strongly suggests that something is pressing on the roots of the sciatic nerve.
The commonest thing that causes such pressure is a DISC, which is bulging out from the spine. So please see a doc, who can examine you and tell you if you have a disc problem.
Q I have been diagnosed as having a 'low sperm count'. It seems like this is the reason why I cannot get my wife pregnant.
I cannot understand why my sperm count is low, because I have always been a real sexy guy. I make love with my wife every day, except when she has her menses. I also have a girlfriend in Falmouth.
A Well, lots of 'real sexy' guys turn out to have low sperm counts.
For instance, it is quite possible to have plenty male hormone (testosterone), which gives you a big sex drive, but also to have some blockage in the 'plumbing' that carries sperms from the testicles to the tip of the penis.
I think you are making a mistake in having sex with your wife every day! Instead, you should 'save up' your sperms by concentrating on making love to her when she is at her most fertile. In the majority of women, that is around 12 to 14 days after the start of the menses.
Also, I feel that you are making an even bigger mistake by 'giving' some of your semen to the lady in Falmouth. You don't have many of those precious little sperms, so all of them should be going into your wife.
Q Doctor, what can a woman do to feel horny again?
I am 28 and I have lost a great deal of interest in sex. Maybe it is because my husband and I have been having fertility issues for over four years now.
I know that I want to be horny again, because it is a good feeling.
I do have sex with him, but there is not enough joy in it. In fact, my greatest joy now comes from oral sex, or from masturbating.
A Sorry to hear about this. When a woman who is in her late 20s loses her desire for sex, the explanation is usually psychological - and not physical.
Nevertheless, I think that if you can afford it, you should go to a doc and have a thorough physical check-up, including an internal examination. It is just possible that the doctor will find some health problem which is affecting your ability to enjoy sex. For instance, your 'blood count' might be low. This tires a woman out, and makes it difficult for her to enjoy anything at all!
Everything working
However, the fact that you obtain 'joy' from oral sex and from masturbation does suggest that everything in your body is probably in working order. So the odds are that it is some psychological problem that has diminished your 'horniness'.
It may be that you are suffering from psychological stress as a result of those 'fertility issues' which you mention. I wonder what these issues are. If you would like to email me again, giving more details, I will try to help.
Q Whenever I have an orgasm I get a 'stuffy nose'. The more intense the orgasm, the more blocked it gets.
Am I sick or something?
A There are some links between the nose and the genitals, and some folk find that soon after orgasm they get a 'runny nose' or even sneeze. This is not due to any sickness, and it is not something to fret about.
If you are still concerned about this symptom, please ask a pharmacist to sell you some nose drops. You could use these 10 minutes before sex.
Q I am a widow and, to be honest, I never enjoyed sex with my husband. His organ was very big, and every time we had intercourse it pained me.
Now I have got a new guy, who is many years younger than me. I am relieved to find that sex with him does not hurt at all, as his penis is much smaller than my late husband's.
I just wonder whether I am abnormal?
A Not at all. There are many ladies who prefer a shorter or slimmer male organ. If you are happy with your 'toy boy's' size, then that is quite OK.
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