Dear Counsellor:

My sister was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She refuses to take medication at times. Sometimes she gives away money or becomes promiscuous. The family is very concerned.

- Alexia

Dear Alexia:

Compliance with medication and office visits is always a challenge with individuals. Whatever the diagnosis, physical or mental, individuals experiment with their medication to determine if they are healed. Understandably, everyone is seeking healing and health.

The duration of treatment varies, so some patients need short courses of treatment, while others need lifelong treatment. You need to explain to your sister that her behaviour suggests she needs to take her medication. Her actions are inappropriate at times and she is putting herself at risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. When patients are well, they usually regret their actions when ill.

If your sister continues not to take her medication, you should take her to the doctor, who will give her an injection monthly. She needs counselling to help her cope with this chronic illness and to improve compliance.

Dear Counsellor:

I have a difficulty with disciplining my children. They are disobedient sometimes and defy my words. I don't want to use physical punishment but I am at my wits' end.

- Minerva

Dear Minerva:

Children are growing beings who need to exercise control over their destiny, action and belief. As children strive towards independence, they will get into conflicts with parents, siblings and authority figures.

Each contact with your children should be an exercise in teaching self-control and respect for the rights of others. Children need to be taught social skills, which will enable them to live successfully with others.

Have several meetings with the children and explain the rules. Young children will need to be told often about what they should and should not do. You will need to be consistent and exercise patience. New skills take time to learn, so you have to persevere.

Tell your children about the rewards they will get for good behaviour and the consequences of misconduct. Show your kids affection as often as you can. Tell them you love them and want them to be successful in life. The carrot is better than the stick. Praise small successes and recognise effort.

Expect questions about what you are doing. An enquiring mind is very fertile. As the parent, you have to be a good role model for your children.