Hartley Neita
There have been beauty parlours for years where ladies, in particular, can get pampered, their hair tossed and curled, their faces softened, eyes shadowed, brows dramatised and nails trimmed and planed.
That has been the physical appearance. Now it is the men's turn to have their own parlours, and it is for their spiritual being.
Unlike beauty parlours, these pleasure parlours for men rarely have addresses. There is even one which advertises an address which does not exist. Its patrons know, of course, where to find it. They all have telephone numbers, and they even have websites - www, Wow, Wow, Wow!
No signs
There are no signs at the premises for Mayor McKenzie to remove. You can know where they are, however, by the status of the cars which are parked on the road from mid-morning to pre-midnight.
The staff of girls who work there is international. They are blonde and brunettes, afros and braided. They tease and tantalise. Female clients are welcome. In some, male masseurs are available to women only. All major currencies are accepted. So, too, are the major debit and credit cards.
The girls promise badventure and sexcitement, and they will take you to a heaven where you will be rubbed with milk and honey scented with aromatic oils.
These parlours employ the best copywriters in the advertising business. They obviously research the product. The language is exotic. There is one which offers two tasty specials and invites customers to "come and enjoy a taste of the most tasty girls". You can also "come and be touched by an angel". And for brawta, a Touch by an Angel costs $1,000, an Angel's Combo is $1,500 and up, and an Unforgettable Angel costs $2,000 and up, up, up.
One of these establishments promises to "take you to heaven and back". For variety, one parlour promises new girls each month, and there is one which promises "petite princesses, private pleasure parties, and you pay to play and you will say hurray".
You can also get massages.
Sought-after jobs
I understand that the most sought-after jobs at these parlours are those of the personnel and training officers. Personnel officers assess applicants based on their experience and expertise and test them to grade them. Those with good experience but who lack expertise are then referred to the training officers. Nice work if you can get it.
The Jamaican girls do not speak Patois. Men, however, prefer to be entertained by girls from the Far East, Middle East, Russia and nearby Cuba. Work permits? Like Jamaica, no problem. They also have exotic names like Carina and Galore
And Carina's cellphone number is 9-CARINA, and Galore's, 7-GALORE.
That's what I call the ultimate.
Sadly, I am told that with the fallout of the alternative investment clubs, business at these establishments is falling. Even investors in the church-related schemes are now spending lots of time on their knees with consolation that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Quality may have to give way to quantity.
