Q Doctor, my boyfriend and I are starting to have full sex. He does not want me to use oral contraception, because he says he knows how to use what he calls 'the rhythm method'. He has had a number of girlfriends before me, and says that he used this rhythm method successfully with them, and never got them pregnant. His theory is that girls are only fertile at certain times of the month. He maintains that if we have sex during the week after my menses end, everything should be OK. But I am not so sure. Is he correct, doctor?
A You are very wise to be 'not so sure'. Some of what this guy has told you is wrong. So if you do what he says, you may soon become pregnant.
There is indeed a technique of contraception called 'the rhythm method', or 'the safe period'. It is based on the fact that many females are at their most fertile when about 12 to 14 days have elapsed since the start of the last menses.
So the general idea is that the couple only have sex at certain times: during the week after the START of a period; during the week before the START of a period.
Please note that I am specifying the START of a period. A lot of couples make the big mistake of counting from the END of the period. This can have disastrous results - such as a pregnancy!
To be frank, I do not recommend using this rhythm method. There are so many things that can go wrong, especially if the couple make a mistake in their arithmetic.
Admittedly, you can 'improve the odds' in three ways:
1. By using an 'ovulation kit', bought from a pharmacy, to try to pinpoint your 'danger time' more exactly. But that is an expensive business.
2. By keeping a 'female body temperature chart', under the guidance of a nurse or doctor. These charts can give a useful indication of when ovulation (egg release) is occurring. But it is quite difficult to do them accurately.
3. By keeping a 'vaginal secretion chart'. This involves plotting the appearance and feel of your vaginal juices on each day of the month. A doctor or nurse who is experienced in 'natural family planning' can use this chart to tell you when you are fertile - and when you aren't.
As you can see, relying on the rhythm method is not easy. Your boyfriend has already got it wrong, because he thinks that it would be OK for the two of you to have sex 'during the week after the menses end'.
I can assure you that towards the end of that week, there is a high chance that you would be in a fertile state - and therefore conceive!
So I do think that if you are going to go ahead and have sex with this young man, you should choose a more 'regular' form of contraception, such as the pill, the condom or the injection.
Also, please bear in mind the risk of catching an infection from him - especially as your boyfriend has been with a number of other girls. So try to practise 'safe sex'!
Q I am a 19-year-old male, living in St Ann. I sometimes have sex with men. Are there any health risks? Could this practice damage my anus?
A The answer to both questions is 'yes'. If you are having what is sometimes termed 'man-to-man' intercourse, that is a real good way of transmitting HIV to the person who is on the 'receiving end' of it. And there is a lot of HIV around these days.
Also, this kind of sex does sometimes harm the rectal muscles of the 'receiving' guy. That can lead to leakage of bowel motions in later years.
Finally, you must bear in mind that this kind of sex is currently illegal in Jamaica.
Q I am a female, age 20, and I cannot get an orgasm unless my clitoris is stimulated. Am I abnormal?
A No. Very few females can discharge unless the clitoris is adequately stimulated.
Q I noticed in your recent doctor's column that you suggested to a young man that he should lie on his back when having sex with a lady. Why is that, please?
A That advice is for young guys who are having trouble getting an erection. Scientists in the United States have found that lying on your back while the female 'mounts' you is less anxiety-provoking than doing it in the traditional way.
You see, the trouble with thetraditional position is that many young guys lose their erections at the moment when they swing a leg over the girl's thigh, immediately before trying to penetrate her.
I am certainly not suggesting that young couples should always make love in the 'female superior' position! But it is a help for the guy who is a little nervous - especially as the lady can easily reach down with her hand, and help him regain his stiffness.
Q I am a 20-year-old female who would like to once and for all successfully remove hairs from the pubic area. This is because I have done my research, and I know that many men find 'clean' vulvas attractive, and love it when the vaginal opening looks that way. I used a hair-removing cream to try to take away, once and for all, the hair from the 'V' of my pubic area. But about a quarter inch of hair is still left. And shaving has not helped much. So I would like your urgent advice on how to get rid of those hairs permanently. Help!
A The first thing I must say to you is that not all men prefer shaven vulvas. Frankly, I am not sure that there is much point in you trying to remove all your pubic hair at the moment - unless you have a regular boyfriend who likes 'shaven havens'.
Second, the fact is that it is difficult to remove the pubic 'bush' permanently. If you shave, or use 'depilatory cream', or have the area waxed, then it is almost certain that the hair will regrow.
The two most effective ways of getting rid of pubic hair permanently are laser treatment and electrolysis.
These should only be administered by a skilled beautician who has plenty of experience of 'treating' pubic hair. Please bear in mind that this kind of therapy may not always be successful.
Q I am a female in my early 20s, and I recently changed sex partners. I've only done it twice with my new guy, and on each occasion I experienced vaginal swelling afterwards. It's not really painful, doctor, but it's uncomfortable, and when I bathe, it burns. Is this normal?
A No. This could be an infection, but it could also be an allergy to something like a condom, or even to the new guy's fluid. Please see a doctor this week to get yourself checked out. Till then, no sex please.
Want advice from the doctor? Send questions and comments to editor@gleanerjm.com or fax: 922-6223.
