Pauline* finally married her 'Mr Right' at age 50. That was four years ago; she had dated him steadily for more than six years. Her wait was long; she was, by then, a grandmother, had her own house and a great job. So, she did not need a walking bank account like many sisters do. She needed a man for respect, companionship, love, friendship and with whom she could grow old gracefully.

As she tells the love story, her friends go green with envy. Does he have a clone? No, make that several clones. Does he have brothers? Yes, several brothers! Where are all the good men? Iraq, jail, Dovecot or in unhappy marriages? Why can't successful women find decent men?

Allisonsays she is an ambitious go-getter and just wants a man who will not compete with her need for the ultimate in self-actualisation. "I am not looking for a Jamaican man anymore, Solo," she tells me. "I am now actively exploring my options electronically." She has tried it all. The supermarket yielded nothing but a cupboard full of items she did not really need. All the men she met were either taken or on their way out of a bad relationship. You know the type; in need of therapy and their mommies! Some of them lie, too. Until the telltale pale area on their ring finger screams, 'my wedding ring is missing!'.

But it's not all their fault, sisters, some of us are just too desperate as we give 'it' up much too quickly. Many men say they have nothing to aspire to or wait and beg for any more. Back in the day, some women even made men cry for 'it' for months, even when they (the women) wanted it badly, too.

So, as the search for the often elusive dream guy continues, let's get back to making ourselves into irresistible dream girls. Let's love ourselves first. Get a hobby, read some books, travel, mentor the youth around us; pamper ourselves and stop acting desperate.

Five things that turn men off

1. Opening his eyes to see your utility bills on his bedside table when he wakes after the first night of sex. (You might as well leave a price list!)

2. Calling constantly to beg cellphone credit and whining about the high cost of living on the first date.

3. Calling to give him a grocery list when you know he's coming over for the third visit.

4. Going through his phone to see who he just called or who his last caller was.

5. Finding excuses to prevent him from spending time with his children and bad-mouthing his mother.

Contact The Soloist at: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com.

Singular subjects

The Soloist

Welcome to our new column for our single sisters. Yes, girls, it's our turn for everything. We go places, scale heights and achieve the impossible. But, we still have challenges, like balancing our budgets, sexual harassment and finding the right man!

So, let's get it off our chests every Monday in your favourite magazine - FLAIR!