Dealing with a large member

Most women are quite unperturbed about penis size but there is a subgroup who is challenged by a really large penis or an abnormally small one. The average penis is five to seven inches long in its erect state and about 10 per cent of men fall below or above this range. If your partner is larger than average, sex can be uncomfortable or painful, but you can still enjoy it if you follow some simple guidelines.

Extend your foreplay to enhance your arousal:

Use adequate lubrication such as Astroglide or K-Y jelly.

Approach insertion gently, preferably using the male dominant position (man on top).

Avoid retro copulation (doggy style) sex since this shortens the vagina and could cause discomfort.

Try the female dominant position (woman on top) since this allows the woman to exercise better control over the depth of penetration. The sitting position is also a reasonable option.

Please encourage your partner to have slow gentle sex and a potentially painful experience could become a very pleasurable one.

Dealing with a small member

If you partner's penis is below average, sex can also be gratifying. Try these techniques:

The best position for a small penis is rear entry since this allows your partner maximal penetration. A reasonable alternative is the sitting position.

Let your partner have a warm shower before sex, it will enhance his turgidity.

Coping with a bent member

Men who have a bent penis (Peyronie's disease) might find penetration a bit problematic. In this case, the spoon position or rear entry is recommended. Of course, this condition might have to be surgically corrected to enable him to return to normal functioning.

Coping with an impotent man

If your man is impotent this could be quite challenging to a relationship; but do not despair, nowadays there are many treatment options for men with erectile dysfunction (ED).

Don't be overly critical of him but gently encourage him to seek help so that the cause of his ED can be identified and appropriate treatment given. Your man might be unwilling to admit that he has ED but of course you know.

Please remind him that these treatment options are available:

Phosphodiesterase inhibitors - Sildenafil, Tadalafil, and Vardenafil - increase blood flow to the penis after adequate stimulation.

The vacuum pump-which creates suction and promotes engorgement of his member.

Intra cavernosal injections - which is a technique in which a special medicine is injected into the shaft of the penis causing it to become erect.

MUSE-medicated urethral suppository for erection - another approach in which a medical pellet is squeezed into the urethra causing an erection.

Penile implants - the surgical insertion of inflatable implants into the penis.

It is interesting to note that a man can have an orgasm even without an erection, therefore, sex play can be quite satisfying even in the impotent.

Coping with premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is quite common, especially in young men. You can help him to overcome this in a number of ways:

Avoid the male dominant position, many men find this position quite challenging. They will perform better with the female dominant position or the spoon position.

Pre-sex masturbation can in many cases improve your mates prowess. Let him try it; he might like it.

You can apply local anaesthetics to his glans; there are many brands on the market. These will desensitise the head of the penis and increase his prowess. If used with a condom, the results can be quite gratifying.

Finally, learn the art of tantric sex, this teaches the man to really appreciate intimacy without the anxiety of having to prove his virility and sexual capability.

Dr Alverston Bailey is a medical doctor and immediate past president of the Medical Association of Jamaica. Send comments and questions to: editor@gleanerjm.com or fax: 922-6223