Latoya Grindley, Gleaner Writer

Charles Harvey says the job of single fathers raising their daughters doesn't have to be as difficult as people make it out to be - showing love and understanding to them are some of the important elements of effectively raising girls. Here, he poses with his youngest daughter, Kerry Lee Harvey. - Norman Grindley/Acting Photography Editor

We often hear about the hardships of single mothers and the delinquent fathers who are sometimes referred to as mere sperm donors. But stories of single fathers who have the sole responsibility of taking care of their children are very few.

Father's Day, in comparison to Mother's Day, is far more low keyed and less recognition and emphasis are placed on that day. It is for this reason, among others, that, father of three girls, Charles Harvey said he is not happy with the credit that men like him get for their dedication to their children.

A Young Father

At the age of 20, when most men are not into serious commitments and the strains that come with a child, Harvey had to immediately change his lifestyle and focus when his first daughter was born. Among other things, this meant getting a steady job.

"I was doing part-time jobs like security work and taking part in social groups. However, I recognised the need for a steady income and that is when I decided that I had to get a skill because, you know, some jobs are not certain and I thought getting a skill was best."

The mother of his first daughter, gave Harvey the challenge of his life when she left the child in his care.

"She thought I was irresponsible which is why she gave me the child. But I honestly preferred to have her with me. When she was living with me, she passed her Common Entrance and started high school which I was extremely proud of." After, perhaps, playing the most critical role in the life of his child, the mother suggested that the daughter live with her. While this was a difficult decision to make, Harvey consented because he wanted her to live in a better environment and thought it was fair since he had her in the earlier years.

Second daughter

In the case of his second daughter, while not being able to play his role as much as he would like, he still tries. She is now 16 years old, and he still does the best he can for his second angel. These previous experiences of caring for his first two daughters probably prepared him for the birth of his youngest daughter - Kerry Lee Harvey.

Now 11, this pre-teen knows only the care of her father. "I have her from she was zero because her mother left her when she was a baby. I bottle-fed her and sometimes, my mother would have to help."

Living in Whitfield Town, off Waltham Park in Kingston, he said he tries to keep her focused on getting a good education. "There are so many distractions in this community and I want her to keep her eyes on the prize. When it comes to bookwork, I'm stern. I don't confine her but I say no to aggressive and negative people."

It was hard for Harvey to speak of his little baby without a smile, especially when he recalled fond memories of her.

"I still have to take her to school when I can. It's like a hype thing for her daddy to take her to school. If I can't, I give her money to take the bus, but she loves when I walk with her to school." According to Kerry, her father is a wonderful man and she loves to spend time with him.

"Whenever I am with him, I am happy because I always have fun."

Currently a contract worker at Courts Jamaica, Harvey said he would not trade caring for his daughter for the world, despite the finance and time. He even insisted that it is easier to raise daughters.

"I talk to my daughter about anything, no fear at all. As a matter of fact, to me, boys tend to be more easily influenced than girls." One would wonder if his daughter would have any resentment towards her mother, but Harvey said he doesn't allow this.

"I encourage her to think positively about her mother. I don't believe in isolating her and that is what a lot of mothers do. They tend to give fathers a warm time to see their children because they are not together. And it goes to show that single fathers can even raise a child 10 times better because of their mindset."

latoya.grindley@gleanerjm.com